Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Wednesday Thursday Friday
Wednesday is my crap day. It may be used getting more bleach, in which case Thursday may follow. Friday is then my day to get a new laptop, big day at least for me.
So this is more like an e-mail now
I wonder if I'm wishing I were English nationality Barrett or something along that line, but somehow I am happy to be part PA Dutch.
Something I am excited about is my hair is growing back quickly at the top, so it is likely I get to chose a new hair color. I wanted it more my natural color so I may stop dying it. So, plans are for tonight to bleach my hair to see if it all turns white as opposed to yellow and red. Next on this to-do list is for me to hopefully clean my room. I forgot about that. I was going to ask for a nicer computer. I might keep this desk in case I would I don't want to do a new one. I think it's best this way. I said if I get this one and it doesn't work well I can work my way up until I only spend @ $5000 and find one that does.
Something I am excited about is my hair is growing back quickly at the top, so it is likely I get to chose a new hair color. I wanted it more my natural color so I may stop dying it. So, plans are for tonight to bleach my hair to see if it all turns white as opposed to yellow and red. Next on this to-do list is for me to hopefully clean my room. I forgot about that. I was going to ask for a nicer computer. I might keep this desk in case I would I don't want to do a new one. I think it's best this way. I said if I get this one and it doesn't work well I can work my way up until I only spend @ $5000 and find one that does.
Yea - I can't honesty expect
I can't expect this net to be too quick so long as it works the speed of the pace of things you do online. So yea and I'm beginning to save blogs. I can't wait until I will get a laptop. Do you think my dad's just abusing me for his own pleasure by waiting? I mean I wanna use a TV, as well. He knows I need to rest, though. I just need things given to me. Why won't he do that? I'm not that stupid.
It doesn't make too much sense I guess except that I won't load anything onto the laptop. It'll be pretty cheap I guess. I even am considering just going to bed. Might wake up at an opportune moment then. So now I am waiting for my net to load. What should I do then, go to bed?
It doesn't make too much sense I guess except that I won't load anything onto the laptop. It'll be pretty cheap I guess. I even am considering just going to bed. Might wake up at an opportune moment then. So now I am waiting for my net to load. What should I do then, go to bed?
Part of the Joke for Me Is
So, when I was in my parent's room using their computer, I noticed it was slow and steady but realiable. My dad just told me it's the one from where we used to live in 2005 back. He suggested putting one in the living room.
Arrgh! I'm waiting for my internet to load the page.
So, I was thinking. Like, I have some simple last names that are German. So, I know this English one my last one is pretty famous. I like to keep that disposition, though, not as though my English last names were a spoof of what it is. I'm upset it's taking so long to load because I'm so tired and was about to bleach - there it is! There it isn't. There it is again!
Arrgh! I'm waiting for my internet to load the page.
So, I was thinking. Like, I have some simple last names that are German. So, I know this English one my last one is pretty famous. I like to keep that disposition, though, not as though my English last names were a spoof of what it is. I'm upset it's taking so long to load because I'm so tired and was about to bleach - there it is! There it isn't. There it is again!
Waiting
Waiting for the last blog to post. So, basically I'm getting the next smallest laptop or really the next largest. This one's internet slows down sometimes every time I load, it'll take 7 minutes.
I figured I don't save things anymore. I just save Notepads and do Wordpads. I'm not loading Microsoft nor any student things. I probably just will load my old printer, assuming pressure doesn't break it first. I will look to see, but my dad offered I use my brother's laptop and I don't want to.
Okay, I'll stop loading my laptop and wait. The signal seems to be going in and out but staying good.
I'm not sure what the catch was. So, it's just that I know I can get a laptop a little larger and use it to watch films. This store online separates different computers by what you use it for. Laptops are ideal for the internet. It seems computers are for games and entertainment. I had to get that one down. I was hoping we could save up for a piano and I could do organ. I think I need to think about getting an organ. I think I need to think about getting out. Like, so I was gonna tell my brother when I get a laptop it seems I will have spent more money but that whatever I was getting I wouldn't worry anyway of getting more clothes unless I was really shopping for something for maybe if I really wanted something to wear I found. Right, maybe I didn't need to do this, getting that $120 dress. I don't even want to wear it and might just use it to take a picture. I don't even like it now but just know it resembled old-fashioned European things. I know they said no returns, as well. Actually, it wasn't too much. So, I regret buying that, though my mom probably likes it. Oh well, I'll stop thinking about it now then.
Okay then now I'm off to eat and maybe get to watch more TV tonight. It seems a blessing to manage my time now. I feel a bit bad about my laptop though because my dad seems upset for some reason thinking to return it. I also don't think he should have to return it but get me another. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted a computer and not a new laptop and am not sure why. I want to return it to say the internet doesn't work so they don't sell it. Plus, it came with a chip. It's just that I couldn't find hair dye but this bleach again so have to probably try to do that tonight. We're going to do the laptop this weekend apparently. I'm still pretty tired, though, and I'm not sure what I need to do next. I'm glad my blogs are getting better. The internet here truly is unreliable, though, on this kind of laptop. It upset me and surprised me. My dad should have realized this to begin with.
Okay, my internet is taking awhile. Yes, I did take a walk again today. I'm not sure where I ever go wrong. I just want to sleep but need to schedule around when I get the house. Part of the reason for also wanting a regular laptop is for DVDs.
Okay there it is. The internet.
I figured I don't save things anymore. I just save Notepads and do Wordpads. I'm not loading Microsoft nor any student things. I probably just will load my old printer, assuming pressure doesn't break it first. I will look to see, but my dad offered I use my brother's laptop and I don't want to.
Okay, I'll stop loading my laptop and wait. The signal seems to be going in and out but staying good.
I'm not sure what the catch was. So, it's just that I know I can get a laptop a little larger and use it to watch films. This store online separates different computers by what you use it for. Laptops are ideal for the internet. It seems computers are for games and entertainment. I had to get that one down. I was hoping we could save up for a piano and I could do organ. I think I need to think about getting an organ. I think I need to think about getting out. Like, so I was gonna tell my brother when I get a laptop it seems I will have spent more money but that whatever I was getting I wouldn't worry anyway of getting more clothes unless I was really shopping for something for maybe if I really wanted something to wear I found. Right, maybe I didn't need to do this, getting that $120 dress. I don't even want to wear it and might just use it to take a picture. I don't even like it now but just know it resembled old-fashioned European things. I know they said no returns, as well. Actually, it wasn't too much. So, I regret buying that, though my mom probably likes it. Oh well, I'll stop thinking about it now then.
Okay then now I'm off to eat and maybe get to watch more TV tonight. It seems a blessing to manage my time now. I feel a bit bad about my laptop though because my dad seems upset for some reason thinking to return it. I also don't think he should have to return it but get me another. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted a computer and not a new laptop and am not sure why. I want to return it to say the internet doesn't work so they don't sell it. Plus, it came with a chip. It's just that I couldn't find hair dye but this bleach again so have to probably try to do that tonight. We're going to do the laptop this weekend apparently. I'm still pretty tired, though, and I'm not sure what I need to do next. I'm glad my blogs are getting better. The internet here truly is unreliable, though, on this kind of laptop. It upset me and surprised me. My dad should have realized this to begin with.
Okay, my internet is taking awhile. Yes, I did take a walk again today. I'm not sure where I ever go wrong. I just want to sleep but need to schedule around when I get the house. Part of the reason for also wanting a regular laptop is for DVDs.
Okay there it is. The internet.
Faster
This little laptop, I just realized this second, is faster than a bigger kind of computer. That's why I'm right that I should get the next cheapest next size larger laptop. This one is way to slow on the internet but otherwise is great.
What happened is I thought that the big computers were 'ballpark' $2800, moniters straddling $250-$400. It seemed I would spend $4000. That just seemed like too much.
-Then, an Apple laptop costs $3000. That's way too much.
-So, I told my dad we'll probably get a Dell or a Toshiba.
I'm not sure entirely what the point was.
I'll post this now and work on another.
What happened is I thought that the big computers were 'ballpark' $2800, moniters straddling $250-$400. It seemed I would spend $4000. That just seemed like too much.
-Then, an Apple laptop costs $3000. That's way too much.
-So, I told my dad we'll probably get a Dell or a Toshiba.
I'm not sure entirely what the point was.
I'll post this now and work on another.
Oh Dear
My last blog is taking awhile to save on my profile. I'm not sure what to do. Okay, I clicked it again and it worked.
Up again today and the net is kinda slow. Oh well. So, my hair is looking better though it seems I should dye it over with another color. I wanna ask my dad to go to that sports store, too. I get the feeling I should dye it with one color. I wonder if the last one was bad because it depended on the highlights and was lighter. I guess I'll try something that blends with the bottom, maybe get two kinds to see if either works. I'm also sure I need to get a new computer because even though it works sometimes it's not working all the time. I wonder why my dad lets himself fall into that trap. I don't know what he did to make it faster before. Today though I'm going to the sports store. So, my dad's then buying my outfits, praytell that it is three plus new sneakers, probably one. Okay, so now I'm pretty happy except I'm not pleased I have to redye my hair because I'll miss it. It seems I'll be getting 3 colors today, chosing 3 different things. That's going to be bleach blonde again, which I should do first. Then, I'll get probably a fight between ash and honey. They do have the two tone ash now. I failed at honey. I'm just assuming I can do over the yellow and already like the darker bleached part, not trying anymore to bleach it to be white. Then, I may get a brown or black. I'm not sure if it'll all work, though. That just sounds like a bigger number than three. So, we'll stop by two stores. I really need a new computer, too, because I'm getting tired of this. I just made a successful post, too. I don't like that I'll probably get $500 of stuff. I'm sort of wanting not to go out again tonight and don't have a new computer. I think though anyway I will, maybe a safer 'go around.'
I'm a little nervous because I'm uncomfortable in public and feel guilty at my own faults. I will miss my old hair. My eyes are alright. My hair is just too party-colored. I could wait until eight and ask my brother, but the point was to go to the sports store and have my dad buy the stuff with this card or just in his presence. I think he is tired, and my clothes are uncomfortable. We need to go to the mall so I can find maybe some more comfortable pants or is it just that I need the sports stuff I think.
Yea, I really don't want to. If I head now I may get something to eat.
Up again today and the net is kinda slow. Oh well. So, my hair is looking better though it seems I should dye it over with another color. I wanna ask my dad to go to that sports store, too. I get the feeling I should dye it with one color. I wonder if the last one was bad because it depended on the highlights and was lighter. I guess I'll try something that blends with the bottom, maybe get two kinds to see if either works. I'm also sure I need to get a new computer because even though it works sometimes it's not working all the time. I wonder why my dad lets himself fall into that trap. I don't know what he did to make it faster before. Today though I'm going to the sports store. So, my dad's then buying my outfits, praytell that it is three plus new sneakers, probably one. Okay, so now I'm pretty happy except I'm not pleased I have to redye my hair because I'll miss it. It seems I'll be getting 3 colors today, chosing 3 different things. That's going to be bleach blonde again, which I should do first. Then, I'll get probably a fight between ash and honey. They do have the two tone ash now. I failed at honey. I'm just assuming I can do over the yellow and already like the darker bleached part, not trying anymore to bleach it to be white. Then, I may get a brown or black. I'm not sure if it'll all work, though. That just sounds like a bigger number than three. So, we'll stop by two stores. I really need a new computer, too, because I'm getting tired of this. I just made a successful post, too. I don't like that I'll probably get $500 of stuff. I'm sort of wanting not to go out again tonight and don't have a new computer. I think though anyway I will, maybe a safer 'go around.'
I'm a little nervous because I'm uncomfortable in public and feel guilty at my own faults. I will miss my old hair. My eyes are alright. My hair is just too party-colored. I could wait until eight and ask my brother, but the point was to go to the sports store and have my dad buy the stuff with this card or just in his presence. I think he is tired, and my clothes are uncomfortable. We need to go to the mall so I can find maybe some more comfortable pants or is it just that I need the sports stuff I think.
Yea, I really don't want to. If I head now I may get something to eat.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Just Got Back
(from around an hour ago)
Well, my internet is loading slowly again. Anyway, aside from that, I had a good night. It's about 10:00 P.M., and I must have returned at about 9:30 P.M.
-I filled my water bucket with ice and the whole pitcher, and it's icy cold.
-No one has added me to MSN IM, though it's up and running. I wonder if the alerts are turned off.
So, I almost got lost. I guess I left at 6:45 P.M. So, I was gone for about 3 hours. The thing is yesterday I just made it around the entire neighborhood. So, today, I went across the street. I didn't realize how short it was and am not sure if I went back the way I came in the end, supposing not and that I'll never really know. I just realized even drinking a lot of water less inclined to use the restroom now I resort to blogs to post. So, anyway, I didn't need to pee the whole time. My stomach did hurt some. I'm glad I'm not posting anymore on IMDb except reading the Alice in Wonderland boards, too. So, I'm going to ask maybe my brother to go to the sports store tomorrow so I can pick out some work-out clothes. I'm so used to washing the same thing. I want to ask my dad, too. I'll leave him a note tomorrow to try that store. I just want him to pay for it in person with that credit card thingy. So, what do you think? Just I should get maybe 3 shorts, 3 sports bras, 3 work-out panties, 3 pairs of work-out socks, new sneakers, sweat band, and last but not least what is it 3 tankies? So, I wonder if since this is Florida they'll sell them cut off at the bra line. That's going to be around ten dollars each. So, that's only around one hundred and fifty dollars. I'm still rather upset my internet is slow. I'm just happy I came home and had a bath already. This is my second shower since I woke up.
So, I'll be leaving home around 6 P.M. to go to the sports store, which is very easy to find. I'll get home around 8 P.M. So, I'll be working out more and back to my regular schedule of getting better. So, I'm giving my net a rest for now. So, I mean I'm glad my computer works more now, but it isn't since getting back from my walk. Another thing that excites me though is going out and geting food. Maybe, I can drive soon. I sure am pretty expensive. This is neat. I can see the computer flash neon green but still says Excellent signal.
Then, I suppose I may ask my brother to take a walk, but I dunno. I might just come back in here. Maybe, I'll have a good night tonight. I want to clean some things. I am getting much better, though. I would love to eat out. I may ask him to go to McDonald's again. There's other places to eat, as well. With my dad along for the clothes, he'll just then get what I need and all and I'll not have spent as much money. I think I'll wait on getting new jeans just because I found some that fit. I am content maybe to do some art and restart my computer later. I can smell food.
Well, my internet is loading slowly again. Anyway, aside from that, I had a good night. It's about 10:00 P.M., and I must have returned at about 9:30 P.M.
-I filled my water bucket with ice and the whole pitcher, and it's icy cold.
-No one has added me to MSN IM, though it's up and running. I wonder if the alerts are turned off.
So, I almost got lost. I guess I left at 6:45 P.M. So, I was gone for about 3 hours. The thing is yesterday I just made it around the entire neighborhood. So, today, I went across the street. I didn't realize how short it was and am not sure if I went back the way I came in the end, supposing not and that I'll never really know. I just realized even drinking a lot of water less inclined to use the restroom now I resort to blogs to post. So, anyway, I didn't need to pee the whole time. My stomach did hurt some. I'm glad I'm not posting anymore on IMDb except reading the Alice in Wonderland boards, too. So, I'm going to ask maybe my brother to go to the sports store tomorrow so I can pick out some work-out clothes. I'm so used to washing the same thing. I want to ask my dad, too. I'll leave him a note tomorrow to try that store. I just want him to pay for it in person with that credit card thingy. So, what do you think? Just I should get maybe 3 shorts, 3 sports bras, 3 work-out panties, 3 pairs of work-out socks, new sneakers, sweat band, and last but not least what is it 3 tankies? So, I wonder if since this is Florida they'll sell them cut off at the bra line. That's going to be around ten dollars each. So, that's only around one hundred and fifty dollars. I'm still rather upset my internet is slow. I'm just happy I came home and had a bath already. This is my second shower since I woke up.
So, I'll be leaving home around 6 P.M. to go to the sports store, which is very easy to find. I'll get home around 8 P.M. So, I'll be working out more and back to my regular schedule of getting better. So, I'm giving my net a rest for now. So, I mean I'm glad my computer works more now, but it isn't since getting back from my walk. Another thing that excites me though is going out and geting food. Maybe, I can drive soon. I sure am pretty expensive. This is neat. I can see the computer flash neon green but still says Excellent signal.
Then, I suppose I may ask my brother to take a walk, but I dunno. I might just come back in here. Maybe, I'll have a good night tonight. I want to clean some things. I am getting much better, though. I would love to eat out. I may ask him to go to McDonald's again. There's other places to eat, as well. With my dad along for the clothes, he'll just then get what I need and all and I'll not have spent as much money. I think I'll wait on getting new jeans just because I found some that fit. I am content maybe to do some art and restart my computer later. I can smell food.
Bored
So, I'm laughing at this musical we did in 6th grade ...
"Oh Fantine, I swear it on my life ...
It's too soon, too soon to say good-bye ..."
"Come to me ...
Cosette, the light is fading ...
Don't you see ...
The evening star appearing ...
Come to me ...
And rest ...
Against ...
My shoulder ...
How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder ...
Hurry near ...
Another day is dying ...
Don't you hear ...
The winter wind ...
Is crying ..."
"On my own ...
Pretending he's beside me ...
On my own ..."
I actually kept this book, too. I just feel so bad because now my laptop's working and I just have too many problems. I should go do the sports store ore be upset my parents probably got rid of my last DVD player. Why not just get a new computer? I was gonna get this Blu-Ray like my dad said, but now he's getting me an Apple. I assume he's just waiting. My mom and brother went to Kennedy Space Center all day, which is in Florida where near I used to live. It's a nice one. She has this credit card we use for big things like this. I feel bad, but hey $4,000 I just spent it.
I saw my parents have the computer part set up on a separate table with a printer that's sturdy. I have my printer up on my drawers. My desk is perfect for a separate computer and moniter. It has a special part for the computer and is really sturdy. I guess that makes me a bit nervous, but for some reason I think that's better.
I mean, hey, it fits.
I just lost all self-esteem. I have gotten rid like of everything. Just I don't feel like going out tonight. It's only 6:30 P.M. What? I can paint a masterpiece now? I don't think so. I think I can draw eyes by looking at my face in the mirror rather than my prior plan of worrying about a printer.
I have a handbook on driving and a liscense. I just need some more relaxation. I wanna finish my TV series but hafta wait. Yea, I'm dressed, though my mom and brother have the cam. I will see if I can find the one for this laptop. I can finish reading more, as well. I'm making some progress.
So, in essence, like, I don't like asking my parents for money but am not sure what my problem is. Maybe, I should go for another walk in this outfit and not worry about not being dressed to work out per se. I can go out any time. It'll make me feel a lot better. My dad suggested my hair would get lighter. I think I just have to wait until I feel better. Hey, guess what, no more Hanes Her Way. I'm wearing practically a thong, a lace thong and a lace bra. I wear the same stuff each day. Saves me money. I guess I'm stopping now. I'm not necessarily starving for another daily shake out and don't have a microfridge for ice wanter. So, guess I'll get my bottled water from out.
It's just that I get restless lying in bed and have learned not to overeat yet again. About spending money, though, my dad suggests an Apple now. Probably not getting a laptop. Getting a separate computer and moniter and keyboard. I have the keyboard case, as well. I'm not really nervous about a desk with a place to mount the computer, like under where I can put the moniter or maybe even my printer. I just can't wait until I can watch TV again. I want to finish this. Really, I'm going for a walk soon, though. Guess one day I'll go to sports clothes. Why is this? I don't wear my glasses, neither. So, if this works is pretty good. I can live with reading all day. I just have to see how this goes, then. So, am I just on track to get thinner? Certainly, my legs are getting stronger. I have lots of funny things I could talk about. I wanna go out again though now. I assume my dad did fix something here. I have to think about getting the TV back in if I wanna play for instance the animal games, though it doesn't quite match the zoo ones. So, like, I could play them when no one's around or put the TV in my room. I still have to clean up a little. I'm not sure what I'll find tonight. Well, I guess I'll go take a walk then and see what comes up for me.
"Oh Fantine, I swear it on my life ...
It's too soon, too soon to say good-bye ..."
"Come to me ...
Cosette, the light is fading ...
Don't you see ...
The evening star appearing ...
Come to me ...
And rest ...
Against ...
My shoulder ...
How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder ...
Hurry near ...
Another day is dying ...
Don't you hear ...
The winter wind ...
Is crying ..."
"On my own ...
Pretending he's beside me ...
On my own ..."
I actually kept this book, too. I just feel so bad because now my laptop's working and I just have too many problems. I should go do the sports store ore be upset my parents probably got rid of my last DVD player. Why not just get a new computer? I was gonna get this Blu-Ray like my dad said, but now he's getting me an Apple. I assume he's just waiting. My mom and brother went to Kennedy Space Center all day, which is in Florida where near I used to live. It's a nice one. She has this credit card we use for big things like this. I feel bad, but hey $4,000 I just spent it.
I saw my parents have the computer part set up on a separate table with a printer that's sturdy. I have my printer up on my drawers. My desk is perfect for a separate computer and moniter. It has a special part for the computer and is really sturdy. I guess that makes me a bit nervous, but for some reason I think that's better.
I mean, hey, it fits.
I just lost all self-esteem. I have gotten rid like of everything. Just I don't feel like going out tonight. It's only 6:30 P.M. What? I can paint a masterpiece now? I don't think so. I think I can draw eyes by looking at my face in the mirror rather than my prior plan of worrying about a printer.
I have a handbook on driving and a liscense. I just need some more relaxation. I wanna finish my TV series but hafta wait. Yea, I'm dressed, though my mom and brother have the cam. I will see if I can find the one for this laptop. I can finish reading more, as well. I'm making some progress.
So, in essence, like, I don't like asking my parents for money but am not sure what my problem is. Maybe, I should go for another walk in this outfit and not worry about not being dressed to work out per se. I can go out any time. It'll make me feel a lot better. My dad suggested my hair would get lighter. I think I just have to wait until I feel better. Hey, guess what, no more Hanes Her Way. I'm wearing practically a thong, a lace thong and a lace bra. I wear the same stuff each day. Saves me money. I guess I'm stopping now. I'm not necessarily starving for another daily shake out and don't have a microfridge for ice wanter. So, guess I'll get my bottled water from out.
It's just that I get restless lying in bed and have learned not to overeat yet again. About spending money, though, my dad suggests an Apple now. Probably not getting a laptop. Getting a separate computer and moniter and keyboard. I have the keyboard case, as well. I'm not really nervous about a desk with a place to mount the computer, like under where I can put the moniter or maybe even my printer. I just can't wait until I can watch TV again. I want to finish this. Really, I'm going for a walk soon, though. Guess one day I'll go to sports clothes. Why is this? I don't wear my glasses, neither. So, if this works is pretty good. I can live with reading all day. I just have to see how this goes, then. So, am I just on track to get thinner? Certainly, my legs are getting stronger. I have lots of funny things I could talk about. I wanna go out again though now. I assume my dad did fix something here. I have to think about getting the TV back in if I wanna play for instance the animal games, though it doesn't quite match the zoo ones. So, like, I could play them when no one's around or put the TV in my room. I still have to clean up a little. I'm not sure what I'll find tonight. Well, I guess I'll go take a walk then and see what comes up for me.
New Laptop
I am midway just checking IMDb for my own reading enjoyment. I wanna go out and do something. I feel like such a waste. I truly just want a new computer. This little laptop has broken often, but it's working better since I gave it to my dad this evening.
So, why waste my parents' money when I already have with some stupid clothes? I barely have anything.
Like, I got this dress that is the mistake not to use, and it comes with two sashes. It was $120, and I'm using it for church, no problem there. I got tired of my Target outfit since it was the display. The hemmed jeans are not okay. I'm tired of the outfit I got in January that I'd been saving. I'm tired of the tankini and black hemmed khakis.
The only problem is I got these jeans at Wal-Mart. Then, I wore the smaller size with no belt. Then, I got an even smaller size and am wearing a belt, which I don't like. I give up on clothes and shopping for fun. I am gonna have to go to a sports center and get some clothes for working out since that's all I do. I just don't feel like it.
I haven't spent too much, only a few hundred dollars. I wear the same shirt every day. I wash the same outfit each day.
Oh, by the way, my hair is bleached, so it's yellow but looks good in the back. I hope the light part gets darker. It makes me look more German like Sleeping Beauty, so with that I'm pleased. My bangs are pretty short, still.
So, yea, I just feel a little guilty. The Wal-Mart jeans, all in dark I got, were $20 each. That's really a lot of money. So, I'm just giving it a rest and wearing the 3rd pair size with this belt that keeps giving glitter off, though this time wasn't really bad. Same shirt. It was the only one at the only place where we go that I liked. So, my dad liked my hair. I just have to go to the sports store so I have something more appropriate to walk in than a bikini. I also haven't asked yet again for keys to the house for less stress on my parents. I'm still too numb to drive, as well.
Okay, I'm posting this blog since it's pretty long, boring, and a bit confusing, though that is because I plan to work on another one as a continuation at this moment really doing nothing else right now because I'm so out of it on spending more money for nothing but because I'm sick and have nothing to do. One more day or night, one more set of cleaning?
So, why waste my parents' money when I already have with some stupid clothes? I barely have anything.
Like, I got this dress that is the mistake not to use, and it comes with two sashes. It was $120, and I'm using it for church, no problem there. I got tired of my Target outfit since it was the display. The hemmed jeans are not okay. I'm tired of the outfit I got in January that I'd been saving. I'm tired of the tankini and black hemmed khakis.
The only problem is I got these jeans at Wal-Mart. Then, I wore the smaller size with no belt. Then, I got an even smaller size and am wearing a belt, which I don't like. I give up on clothes and shopping for fun. I am gonna have to go to a sports center and get some clothes for working out since that's all I do. I just don't feel like it.
I haven't spent too much, only a few hundred dollars. I wear the same shirt every day. I wash the same outfit each day.
Oh, by the way, my hair is bleached, so it's yellow but looks good in the back. I hope the light part gets darker. It makes me look more German like Sleeping Beauty, so with that I'm pleased. My bangs are pretty short, still.
So, yea, I just feel a little guilty. The Wal-Mart jeans, all in dark I got, were $20 each. That's really a lot of money. So, I'm just giving it a rest and wearing the 3rd pair size with this belt that keeps giving glitter off, though this time wasn't really bad. Same shirt. It was the only one at the only place where we go that I liked. So, my dad liked my hair. I just have to go to the sports store so I have something more appropriate to walk in than a bikini. I also haven't asked yet again for keys to the house for less stress on my parents. I'm still too numb to drive, as well.
Okay, I'm posting this blog since it's pretty long, boring, and a bit confusing, though that is because I plan to work on another one as a continuation at this moment really doing nothing else right now because I'm so out of it on spending more money for nothing but because I'm sick and have nothing to do. One more day or night, one more set of cleaning?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Okay, back, again
Okay, now I'm waiting for my blog. Okay.
So, today I wanna get blonde shampoo. Boring topic I know. Going out today though to look for a desk. My dad offered a family couch, but I don't think so. So, apparently he's into saving some money. I had said I could get one of those corner office centers since all I have in my room is a bed. Might have to sacrifice couch size. I need a big one to fit my canvases. I haven't gotten a really large canvas. I have an outfit to sew. Yes, everything is cleared except for my art supplies and sewing et cetera. Since we get back soon I likely will go out with my brother. Not sure when I'll get the shampoo. I also want to get an outfit at GAP. Will have ice cream and maybe Subway, where I always get the heated chicken on the honey oat bread. I may work on some more art now. So then later. I have to turn off my laptop. Last time though it stopped working for the net. Hope this time doesn't. I will be leaving in like possibly an hour or so. So, hope it works at midnight. I should be back before then overall. In the meantime I probably wouldn't try to log in and do anything. I might even work on some art, which I will post. My net connection is actually working really well more and more, but I am so excited to set up a big office center because it's sturdy and gives me a sense of stability. I will have a nice couch for only less than one gran. I will probably see a movie this weekend unless we're picking up a sofa. I won't feel too bad about getting a 2-seat sofa now, but I think the 3-seat since is only a hundred or so more is no point in not me getting, until I consider now that we are squeezing for things like this. I wonder what the deal is with the sofa. I've had the same bed mat my whole life, since I was 1-2. I am big on Febreeze. I get Microbial. I get anything like that. My dad has to come in and measure, too. I'm gonna ask him to set it all up. Probably I will go out when he moves it in or sets it up or something. I guess he can put it together some and then put it in here or could even give it to me to do. This table I might put up against my closet meanwhile. I'm glad the net is working since I won't get a computer then for awhile, maybe after this weekend. Might have to wait for that film. I shouldn't get my hopes up too high. I could prioritize to get a bigger office center. The reason I want my own sofa is because I want probably a soft material and I'm so paranoid I wipe off the big one fully each time I use it. They use blankets and pillows on it, but I don't. I just sit in the center and watch TV.
So, today I wanna get blonde shampoo. Boring topic I know. Going out today though to look for a desk. My dad offered a family couch, but I don't think so. So, apparently he's into saving some money. I had said I could get one of those corner office centers since all I have in my room is a bed. Might have to sacrifice couch size. I need a big one to fit my canvases. I haven't gotten a really large canvas. I have an outfit to sew. Yes, everything is cleared except for my art supplies and sewing et cetera. Since we get back soon I likely will go out with my brother. Not sure when I'll get the shampoo. I also want to get an outfit at GAP. Will have ice cream and maybe Subway, where I always get the heated chicken on the honey oat bread. I may work on some more art now. So then later. I have to turn off my laptop. Last time though it stopped working for the net. Hope this time doesn't. I will be leaving in like possibly an hour or so. So, hope it works at midnight. I should be back before then overall. In the meantime I probably wouldn't try to log in and do anything. I might even work on some art, which I will post. My net connection is actually working really well more and more, but I am so excited to set up a big office center because it's sturdy and gives me a sense of stability. I will have a nice couch for only less than one gran. I will probably see a movie this weekend unless we're picking up a sofa. I won't feel too bad about getting a 2-seat sofa now, but I think the 3-seat since is only a hundred or so more is no point in not me getting, until I consider now that we are squeezing for things like this. I wonder what the deal is with the sofa. I've had the same bed mat my whole life, since I was 1-2. I am big on Febreeze. I get Microbial. I get anything like that. My dad has to come in and measure, too. I'm gonna ask him to set it all up. Probably I will go out when he moves it in or sets it up or something. I guess he can put it together some and then put it in here or could even give it to me to do. This table I might put up against my closet meanwhile. I'm glad the net is working since I won't get a computer then for awhile, maybe after this weekend. Might have to wait for that film. I shouldn't get my hopes up too high. I could prioritize to get a bigger office center. The reason I want my own sofa is because I want probably a soft material and I'm so paranoid I wipe off the big one fully each time I use it. They use blankets and pillows on it, but I don't. I just sit in the center and watch TV.
Sorry my internet wasn't working on this laptop
Sorry the internet was not working on this laptop. I'm not sure if it will. Okay, now supposedly it's back up. I'll be working on another blog. Things are going well for me personally. I'll create a blog until I can post it I guess.
I realize things online really aren't going well. It's been hard for me to keep up with my laptop's internet connection since this is a small laptop. It's encouraged me not to want a laptop. This is primarily what I use the computer for now.
I realize things online really aren't going well. It's been hard for me to keep up with my laptop's internet connection since this is a small laptop. It's encouraged me not to want a laptop. This is primarily what I use the computer for now.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Okay I'm off now
My shoulder is getting sensitive from actually posting again. I am going to try a hand at pencil sketching and doing shading to build my collection. I might get hot and greasy and want to come back online. I doubt I'm going out tonight. I wanna get in bed. Of course, I have water. However, I wanna do some art more. That way also if I get back into music once better will have something to compare to for my interests.
I do have a way of dealing with things
I just kinda look down upon them. I realize I need stuff that costs money. Eventually, I can get over it. When I work, things will be better. Funny though I didn't tell them what I fed the dog, so I don't know how that coincidence occurred. Suddenly, we haven't had anything like ham nor meatloaf and no bakery things. My dad has diabetes, as well since. I was disgusted, though, so I stopped after giving him some of the food. I'm weaving in and out of my thoughts, I guess. It just really bugged me. Like, what, was I not prepared for it or something. Since, we haven't been worrying about the dog, neither, like before. At least seemingly. At least once we got the chocolate covered cream filled stuff.
I sorta regret having to go out, but I do. Tonight will be TV night, and then I will sleep all day in a shower. Haha. Then, I will have a note to go out and look for a sturdy desk. Supposedly, I will have moved my shelves to the garage and oh I forget again. I do have the little TV for video games. That's all, a bed and that stuff. I can do art on a sturdy computer desk. I know it can't wiggle. I'll keep this laptop until my dad sets up that stuff. I have to clear out the chords, as well, so who knows, I'll write for tomorrow - Sunday to be the day. I'll ask my dad to put it together for me then. Next, I'll get my 3-seat sofa. Then, I'll be prepared to decide on a computer. Oh, yea, a new chair should come with it. I have all this stuff bunched in the middle. The chords though are just of the laptop like and the TV and stuff, the fans. So, it all can easily be dealt with like tonight or tomorrow. I need to take it easy most importantly. This really is important to me because then I will be more active online and will read during the day instead of just sit here and mope like this. I can sleep when I need to because I will sleep on a couch. Great, my room has sliding doors for a closet. Then a bed and there is the desk and there is a sofa, a big sturdy desk and a nicely priced good-looking style of sofa from a good furniture store. I bet I can even tilt the screen to face me. Like, I mean on the sofa. Funny the ones I saw, not many, all had bars just that cover the sies, so I need probably like a bigger desk or just find a different one I guess. So, meanwhile I really am in here upset I didn't spend the night watching TV and am hungry. I'm not now. It really is bad. I could paint, might lie down first. Like, I didn't have a shower but am happy staying at home now and should remain so untli I feel better I guess. I just want to get better as soon as possible. I feel happy about looking just for a desk for now that's sturdy, though, and then a legitimate couch. As per sound system, I just mean this boombox has a chord that isn't really attached to it and comes undone. I have nowhere to put it. It's not a big priority yet. It's just that the computer wasn't made for it. I want a full sound system, just one that's not portable. It's because I know they are probably louder. I just never got into asking for one yet, scouting out options on what to spend on. I am excited maybe to do another Alice drawing. Maybe sometime I can copy a real person as is what usually to do, though no I don't have any magazines. I also of course have my hair to dye. I want to do a drawing because I can shade and I'm sick. I can shade in paint, but I think I'm new at that, unfortunately and want to practice my skill. Well, over and out.
I sorta regret having to go out, but I do. Tonight will be TV night, and then I will sleep all day in a shower. Haha. Then, I will have a note to go out and look for a sturdy desk. Supposedly, I will have moved my shelves to the garage and oh I forget again. I do have the little TV for video games. That's all, a bed and that stuff. I can do art on a sturdy computer desk. I know it can't wiggle. I'll keep this laptop until my dad sets up that stuff. I have to clear out the chords, as well, so who knows, I'll write for tomorrow - Sunday to be the day. I'll ask my dad to put it together for me then. Next, I'll get my 3-seat sofa. Then, I'll be prepared to decide on a computer. Oh, yea, a new chair should come with it. I have all this stuff bunched in the middle. The chords though are just of the laptop like and the TV and stuff, the fans. So, it all can easily be dealt with like tonight or tomorrow. I need to take it easy most importantly. This really is important to me because then I will be more active online and will read during the day instead of just sit here and mope like this. I can sleep when I need to because I will sleep on a couch. Great, my room has sliding doors for a closet. Then a bed and there is the desk and there is a sofa, a big sturdy desk and a nicely priced good-looking style of sofa from a good furniture store. I bet I can even tilt the screen to face me. Like, I mean on the sofa. Funny the ones I saw, not many, all had bars just that cover the sies, so I need probably like a bigger desk or just find a different one I guess. So, meanwhile I really am in here upset I didn't spend the night watching TV and am hungry. I'm not now. It really is bad. I could paint, might lie down first. Like, I didn't have a shower but am happy staying at home now and should remain so untli I feel better I guess. I just want to get better as soon as possible. I feel happy about looking just for a desk for now that's sturdy, though, and then a legitimate couch. As per sound system, I just mean this boombox has a chord that isn't really attached to it and comes undone. I have nowhere to put it. It's not a big priority yet. It's just that the computer wasn't made for it. I want a full sound system, just one that's not portable. It's because I know they are probably louder. I just never got into asking for one yet, scouting out options on what to spend on. I am excited maybe to do another Alice drawing. Maybe sometime I can copy a real person as is what usually to do, though no I don't have any magazines. I also of course have my hair to dye. I want to do a drawing because I can shade and I'm sick. I can shade in paint, but I think I'm new at that, unfortunately and want to practice my skill. Well, over and out.
Ricochet
Okay, so, like, why did my dad ask me yesterday or rather he said about feeding the dog or something and that he eats once a day when clearly he eats twice a day. I said I never feed him. I know once I fed him when they stopped buying something and found it funny he said once about something after with more emphasis. I just wanted to go shopping man. I came out again to ask him why he asked me something about that or whatever it was. Then, he went in to change and I remember I always knocked sometimes on my own room until college and after and thought it was cute, like lightly I knock if I know no one is there. No one was there, and he hit his knuckles on his door, which was closed. I didn't say anything but was waiting out in the living room, wantint to ask but didn't, feeling silly.
No, the webpage isn't loading. I became really sluggish trying to double click something. I honestly don't know anyone who can't stop holding onto things that bother me from something that happened as though it's my fault.
It just came to my mind when I got over what my brother did. They're doing it to annoy me. I don't feel well at all. I have no job. I have no future. I am virtually nothing. I am at home all day feeling this. Something new always has to come up.
It seems as though I can't tell when my dad is home. It seems almost time for my brother to go.
I mean if something already bothered me, why hurt me again, and again to prove a point when I clearly just mentioned something? It's like they're out to stimulate me, and no one really cares. No one has left me alone.
I seriously need to leave a note to go out tomorrow to look for a computer desk and then a sofa. I need to decide to move my shelves as well.
Funny, I just clicked differently and now my internet's not working. I didn't get in a good double click. Only my start page is up.
I started again. Strangely, I got something up new but not something else.
So, I was wondering, maybe people seem nice, but in truth they really hurt me and and through.
No, the webpage isn't loading. I became really sluggish trying to double click something. I honestly don't know anyone who can't stop holding onto things that bother me from something that happened as though it's my fault.
It just came to my mind when I got over what my brother did. They're doing it to annoy me. I don't feel well at all. I have no job. I have no future. I am virtually nothing. I am at home all day feeling this. Something new always has to come up.
It seems as though I can't tell when my dad is home. It seems almost time for my brother to go.
I mean if something already bothered me, why hurt me again, and again to prove a point when I clearly just mentioned something? It's like they're out to stimulate me, and no one really cares. No one has left me alone.
I seriously need to leave a note to go out tomorrow to look for a computer desk and then a sofa. I need to decide to move my shelves as well.
Funny, I just clicked differently and now my internet's not working. I didn't get in a good double click. Only my start page is up.
I started again. Strangely, I got something up new but not something else.
So, I was wondering, maybe people seem nice, but in truth they really hurt me and and through.
Was Looking Forward to a Good Time
However, this new desk is shaking really badly, so I took the laptop off. Now, I'm upset because I don't know if I can do art on a computer table, and I ended up saving my little TV for the Wii.
Worse though my brother was just done and I was going to eat. I had a snack and then was heating up for cooking stuff. Then I realized I wanted to go out and had to move over my stuff in case we got a sofa today. I ended up throwing everything on my bed. Then, I had to move it a little again. When I got back around 15 minutes later, I found the pan off-center near the eating (dog just barked, which never happens,) part on this holding thing made of metal that must usually be on the microwave I think they got for Christmas or something. I just found that freaky because he was in his bedroom. I realize when I was moving the first thing he was cutting his nails, but so what? Did he go to the bathroom again or even take a quicker shower this time? I don't think so. Anyway, we aren't particularly close. I was sweating bullets and felt like a manatee. I'm all shaking and haven't been quite as upset. Clearly, people realize I've given up to throw things out of windows. I can't even focus. I cleared a spot off for nothing. My realitionship is as hard as it is, and I was looking forward to a good time out with my dad, who isn't home yet maybe, I dunno. The whole wall is clear, but it turns out I need to figure something else out for a desk.
So, what bothers me is this: why did all of a sudden my brother come out and do that? Sure, he heard me move the other stand outside - it hit my door. It's next to my bedroom door now. Could he seriously have come out maybe to use the living room? Then, he saw the stove top and turned it off like that since the rest was full? I didn't think of that until just now. He did let the oven heat since it was on lower.
Well, maybe I can still go out except I'm still as stimulated as a raw fish. Maybe, it's that I haven't showered or something like that and had a day stuck in my room for some reason. I could just go to sleep now. Unfortunately it's Wednesday and seems like a nice day. Oh, and my stomach felt like it had a hole cut out like it's all cut out. I'm serious, though, we can't waste time returning this computer stand. It was to be fast, hence like I wish it were today. I don't know what happened. It seriously wiggles more than a carnival ride. It wiggles more than Jello.
I really should ask to go, though. I can see sleeping through maybe, so maybe I'll wait here and think about it. I have clothes ready, though. So, this would be for me to find a desk that doesn't wiggle. My dad might show me stores he knows. I might just have to use one we already saw.
This is the smallest size laptop, too, so why would it wiggle and still get sold like that? I'm sure I can easily figure something out. I just want to have another browse of the desks to see if I could do art on it with a computer on another platform, which I think is true. I just realized where we got this and see we should just go back to a same place and wherever my dad knows. I think I want to wait because of how I feel, though I feel guilty. It's just that anyway the net is working faster and my parents paid for it. Supposedly it's faster, now. Wow, my dad might not even be home now. I just want to have a good time. We did, but I mean like aesthetically. Wow, and my printer could even go on a desk soon. This also means TV night for sure. If not, I don't know what I'd do. So, I didn't shower because I was afraid of the noise. I'm afraid to go out because I didn't shower and am not strong. I just feel grumpy and antisocial. I don't really want to sleep plus have nothing to do. Oh well, I have a feeling my dad will be home a while later and I'll either be half-asleep or waiting to go or something. Well, we'll see, I guess. I sure don't feel well. I don't know if that means I need to hurry or if I can wait or something. I feel just natural but it seems things aren't right.
So, I have some rearranging decisions to make still maybe unless I do find something that fits, keep forgetting it, which reminds me in that post that was deleted I said something about I forget though I don't know why I said that there. It's just how I talk sometimes, and people stop and I guess wonder why I do that. It's just talking when I have nothing to talk about, not a good thing. The other good thing is if I put a desk up against this other wall in this room of mine - my room - then I could easily get any size and squeeze these little shelves in some corner or something, though there are only two left. I can get the large sofa and a large desk. I certainly want to keep my books, but my dad said I could put it out in the garage. I dunno, maybe I should wait. I just wanna watch TV, too. I have stuff to get rid of and can put my stuff out, which might make me sensitive. I just have to really think about quality. My dad even said there's a cable already in the garage, not sure if it was their choice. I said I could put my stuff there, not having it for a room. I asked about others using it, and he said like it's shared I guess. Okay. I do like having my stuff here. My idea was that a computer desk would have a full media shelf but maybe not a bookcase, like our old one was that I think my dad and brother made. I think I used it second, though I'm not sure about it much. It seems I just want to go shopping. Maybe, when I feel better I can ask my brother if he wants to take a walk but then I'd have to ask to stop at GAP.
I somehow feel I've had my fun but am not sure if my dad wishes I'd do it sooner. I'm just too tired today. I did mention going out today, but I'm not sure now. I don't like this. I do feel too sick. I honestly thought I'd be awake during the night. I honestly think I should stay here and then ask tomorrow. I haven't gone on a new e-mail and it's no fun. Plus, yea, why inform him of what he already knows. I was wondering because I asked. It's not right, but I'm anti-social health-wise. So, maybe it is. This desk really is good. I can't find another thing that doesn't shake, though.I think I'll have to move my things to the garage by taking them off the shelves and shoving around from ridding of everything, which is in the middle. Of course, I bring in stuff little by little as I use them. They can see what I own and use it, probably a nice thing for them. I may ask my brother to go to GAP today, treat him to ice cream, though yea he paid last night. We'll probably take a walk. I did for ballet. I know he needs it. I posted about this before, walking. I was talking about a post blog-wise, editing around in a previous post, too. So, well, walking is what is necessary or right for ballet because it's a muscle building workout and not like a speed thing, not a time distance thing. The other thing though is I have an outfit to mend that I would sometime maybe in the morning after watching TV. I'd still be tired, maybe go out this weekend. They'd understand in a way. I just feel injured, in fact, which isn't as understandable. Something keeps seeming to happen. I hope I end up changing my mind. Things just aren't the same anymore, and I don't know why. I don't feel like staying in my room and will probably end up going out though not sure. Likely not since I might have to wait for my dad to eat. Well, I'm over and out for now.
Worse though my brother was just done and I was going to eat. I had a snack and then was heating up for cooking stuff. Then I realized I wanted to go out and had to move over my stuff in case we got a sofa today. I ended up throwing everything on my bed. Then, I had to move it a little again. When I got back around 15 minutes later, I found the pan off-center near the eating (dog just barked, which never happens,) part on this holding thing made of metal that must usually be on the microwave I think they got for Christmas or something. I just found that freaky because he was in his bedroom. I realize when I was moving the first thing he was cutting his nails, but so what? Did he go to the bathroom again or even take a quicker shower this time? I don't think so. Anyway, we aren't particularly close. I was sweating bullets and felt like a manatee. I'm all shaking and haven't been quite as upset. Clearly, people realize I've given up to throw things out of windows. I can't even focus. I cleared a spot off for nothing. My realitionship is as hard as it is, and I was looking forward to a good time out with my dad, who isn't home yet maybe, I dunno. The whole wall is clear, but it turns out I need to figure something else out for a desk.
So, what bothers me is this: why did all of a sudden my brother come out and do that? Sure, he heard me move the other stand outside - it hit my door. It's next to my bedroom door now. Could he seriously have come out maybe to use the living room? Then, he saw the stove top and turned it off like that since the rest was full? I didn't think of that until just now. He did let the oven heat since it was on lower.
Well, maybe I can still go out except I'm still as stimulated as a raw fish. Maybe, it's that I haven't showered or something like that and had a day stuck in my room for some reason. I could just go to sleep now. Unfortunately it's Wednesday and seems like a nice day. Oh, and my stomach felt like it had a hole cut out like it's all cut out. I'm serious, though, we can't waste time returning this computer stand. It was to be fast, hence like I wish it were today. I don't know what happened. It seriously wiggles more than a carnival ride. It wiggles more than Jello.
I really should ask to go, though. I can see sleeping through maybe, so maybe I'll wait here and think about it. I have clothes ready, though. So, this would be for me to find a desk that doesn't wiggle. My dad might show me stores he knows. I might just have to use one we already saw.
This is the smallest size laptop, too, so why would it wiggle and still get sold like that? I'm sure I can easily figure something out. I just want to have another browse of the desks to see if I could do art on it with a computer on another platform, which I think is true. I just realized where we got this and see we should just go back to a same place and wherever my dad knows. I think I want to wait because of how I feel, though I feel guilty. It's just that anyway the net is working faster and my parents paid for it. Supposedly it's faster, now. Wow, my dad might not even be home now. I just want to have a good time. We did, but I mean like aesthetically. Wow, and my printer could even go on a desk soon. This also means TV night for sure. If not, I don't know what I'd do. So, I didn't shower because I was afraid of the noise. I'm afraid to go out because I didn't shower and am not strong. I just feel grumpy and antisocial. I don't really want to sleep plus have nothing to do. Oh well, I have a feeling my dad will be home a while later and I'll either be half-asleep or waiting to go or something. Well, we'll see, I guess. I sure don't feel well. I don't know if that means I need to hurry or if I can wait or something. I feel just natural but it seems things aren't right.
So, I have some rearranging decisions to make still maybe unless I do find something that fits, keep forgetting it, which reminds me in that post that was deleted I said something about I forget though I don't know why I said that there. It's just how I talk sometimes, and people stop and I guess wonder why I do that. It's just talking when I have nothing to talk about, not a good thing. The other good thing is if I put a desk up against this other wall in this room of mine - my room - then I could easily get any size and squeeze these little shelves in some corner or something, though there are only two left. I can get the large sofa and a large desk. I certainly want to keep my books, but my dad said I could put it out in the garage. I dunno, maybe I should wait. I just wanna watch TV, too. I have stuff to get rid of and can put my stuff out, which might make me sensitive. I just have to really think about quality. My dad even said there's a cable already in the garage, not sure if it was their choice. I said I could put my stuff there, not having it for a room. I asked about others using it, and he said like it's shared I guess. Okay. I do like having my stuff here. My idea was that a computer desk would have a full media shelf but maybe not a bookcase, like our old one was that I think my dad and brother made. I think I used it second, though I'm not sure about it much. It seems I just want to go shopping. Maybe, when I feel better I can ask my brother if he wants to take a walk but then I'd have to ask to stop at GAP.
I somehow feel I've had my fun but am not sure if my dad wishes I'd do it sooner. I'm just too tired today. I did mention going out today, but I'm not sure now. I don't like this. I do feel too sick. I honestly thought I'd be awake during the night. I honestly think I should stay here and then ask tomorrow. I haven't gone on a new e-mail and it's no fun. Plus, yea, why inform him of what he already knows. I was wondering because I asked. It's not right, but I'm anti-social health-wise. So, maybe it is. This desk really is good. I can't find another thing that doesn't shake, though.I think I'll have to move my things to the garage by taking them off the shelves and shoving around from ridding of everything, which is in the middle. Of course, I bring in stuff little by little as I use them. They can see what I own and use it, probably a nice thing for them. I may ask my brother to go to GAP today, treat him to ice cream, though yea he paid last night. We'll probably take a walk. I did for ballet. I know he needs it. I posted about this before, walking. I was talking about a post blog-wise, editing around in a previous post, too. So, well, walking is what is necessary or right for ballet because it's a muscle building workout and not like a speed thing, not a time distance thing. The other thing though is I have an outfit to mend that I would sometime maybe in the morning after watching TV. I'd still be tired, maybe go out this weekend. They'd understand in a way. I just feel injured, in fact, which isn't as understandable. Something keeps seeming to happen. I hope I end up changing my mind. Things just aren't the same anymore, and I don't know why. I don't feel like staying in my room and will probably end up going out though not sure. Likely not since I might have to wait for my dad to eat. Well, I'm over and out for now.
Wow that was simple
So now everything is all set. I just had to move my printer on top of my drawers. I'll move in the table when the house is quiet. Now maybe I'll eat and bathe. Maybe I'll do a painting or something. I might not go out with my dad, though. I'm not sure what I'll do for a few hours. I probably won't even get a new chair I see, as well. My next goal is probably clothes from the mall. I can get something from GAP to wear I guess for when I go shopping.
Okay so ...
Tonight, I'm refiguring how to.
Well trying now.
Maybe then can eat or something, shower, too, ready for going out maybe tonight even with my dad and maybe again with my brother.
(My last post deleted and it explained that my dad set up my desk already.)
Well trying now.
Maybe then can eat or something, shower, too, ready for going out maybe tonight even with my dad and maybe again with my brother.
(My last post deleted and it explained that my dad set up my desk already.)
Plans Set
I need to set up this small computer stand first and then put the printer up just to see it set. My shelves fit in this nicely on the other side.
Then, I can go buy a couch. Don't need new vanity storage at this point. The problem was it fitting, but now the printer takes precedence and anyway I do like the old storage luckily as drawers as opposed to shelves, though it would be better maybe if I make it so the only time I open the sliding closet doors is when I get clothes for going out, which though is presently on one side. I know it'll work out and am not concerned about vanity in that way. I can put a jewelry box on thte top with my art supplies. It does however need to be cleared.
So, not looking forward, hopefully can go out tonight. Have to put in laundry because I have nothing else to wear from strangely, oh nevermind maybe I do, so just need to put that thing together when I get the tools. I want to watch TV tonight because like I wanted to see if there were any other good episodes. I'm trying to get by saying I studied something since I'm sick anyway. I need it for my health.
So just need to put that together and will rearrange everything, which will all fit.
Then, we can shop for a 3-seat couch, I guess tomorrow. After that means we get the computer by this weekend. Then, things are set. I get a little better, see a deramtolgist for my one problem, blackheads, after I'm feeling better, then see a psychologist and then a psychiatrist. Then I see I doctor and dentist and a Chinese doctor. Then, I interview to be a cook on my dad's way to work and maybe even until after, though I doubt that in some ways.
Then, I can go buy a couch. Don't need new vanity storage at this point. The problem was it fitting, but now the printer takes precedence and anyway I do like the old storage luckily as drawers as opposed to shelves, though it would be better maybe if I make it so the only time I open the sliding closet doors is when I get clothes for going out, which though is presently on one side. I know it'll work out and am not concerned about vanity in that way. I can put a jewelry box on thte top with my art supplies. It does however need to be cleared.
So, not looking forward, hopefully can go out tonight. Have to put in laundry because I have nothing else to wear from strangely, oh nevermind maybe I do, so just need to put that thing together when I get the tools. I want to watch TV tonight because like I wanted to see if there were any other good episodes. I'm trying to get by saying I studied something since I'm sick anyway. I need it for my health.
So just need to put that together and will rearrange everything, which will all fit.
Then, we can shop for a 3-seat couch, I guess tomorrow. After that means we get the computer by this weekend. Then, things are set. I get a little better, see a deramtolgist for my one problem, blackheads, after I'm feeling better, then see a psychologist and then a psychiatrist. Then I see I doctor and dentist and a Chinese doctor. Then, I interview to be a cook on my dad's way to work and maybe even until after, though I doubt that in some ways.
Stress 4 the day
I may need to utilize a larger multi-function desk for art. The thing is some art supplies need their own temporary shelf. Funny this desk has 5. I could tecnically keep this. The main difference is that I wanted to put the computer under a little table for the printer so I can stretch my legs under the little computer table.
Stress-free, maybe even save for later, then, would be simply the stacking shelves.
I don't even want to do the couch yet. This laptop works now, but it gets too slow. I'm only slightly wary about using a screen where I don't look so much at both the screen and my typing so much. Too bad this is so slow, but that's money for you.
I don't know why I keep sleeping at night. That leaves me on here with time to kill. I don't have TV yet. I'm hungry, haven't eaten at home. I have things I could do. I'm tired. I could read, but what I'm reading is a bit harder than that, otherwise what it would be. I can go check every so often to see if I can use the living room for food, which is easy enough to do.
The good thing about my hair dye is it kind of is gone now. I don't think I care because it doesn't matter to me what color my hair looks like.
I want to be a cook. I know I won't lose a finger. I have enough experience. I have experience in fine dining, not to say real fine dining but not McD's. I am used to working with spices and things like that. I bake my buns each time, and they're wheat buns. I know about saving time and flipping it so the spice doesn't fall off. I know when not to put spice on one side. I know how to do oil. I have some experience baking creatively a little. I like vegetarian food but for things like tomatos. I believe in eating a lot, when you want.
I plan to go out tonight with my brother. With my dad first I'll ask to get the folding art desk. I have to think of a way. I think I can easily store my art things. It can go in my closet. I just need not really but would be nice a table where I could lay out things. Like I said, I could keep this one. The thing must be the table where a computer would fit under. A mini art table would be ideal. I really don't think I'd paint yet with an easel. (Hey, I might even get the house again today. I'm done with IMDb for now. It loaded rather slowly, but at least it loads.)
I'm excited, may dye my hair tonight. I don't feel like sleeping as much. I hope I end up eating soon. I wanted to do another painting but am too tired to do it.
Wow, I have even large canvases. I just need another desk not too large where I can use it to store the printer, also. It should all work out really. I'm not sure where we'll go, but I can check out online. On second thought, maybe I will do another painting now. I just don't know about the final set-up and need a plan. Hmm, this even all works out. I may just have to go out for fun tonight and think about rearranging. I do need to relax more maybe before dying my hair, though as soon as possible for this all. Maybe, first I want to set up the computer desk I guess. I'm not entirely sure about the printer. I go out to get something to eat really. Tonight I should get Subway. I see I need a new sound system, as well. So, this is about setting up that computer stand today. It looks rather complicated, and I hope my dad gets the tools. One thing I know is I don't want the printer on the floor under a desk again. It doesn't even fit on one of the shelves. I kinda think it will go on my drawers, actually. Okay, so it's all set now, just waiting for the tools and the time in the house alone. I indeed will get to it, though, even though I desperately want to finish the TV series' and also a week to cancel old credit card subscriptions from old e-mails. I'm not sure if I might get to that now even. Otherwise, nothing really I can do at the moment. The stacking shelves can wait. I hardly have any clothes. I have shelves on the side of the closet, as well. It is tedious to open the closet. The other thing I found is I need to move the shelves, just realized this, by the closet.
I really don't feel well ever, neither. Something happens, and then nothing's the same. It's not even my fault. Now what? People think they can get away with anything with me. I mean, I'm not even doing anything and I just feel terrible. It's not fair. Sure, no one cares and no one notices. People know what like I don't like and what's not right, and now they don't care. They make up stupid jokes and things, too. Nothing's going okay. I did just wake up and then come back in here. It's strange. What do these people do all day? Thanks, for wasting my life. At least I'm still getting things done. What right does someone have to always act badly just because something upset the other person? There is none. Why are people not letting go of things? This doesn't make any sense. I don't feel like being in bed, but I think I will go back to bed. I haven't showered, neither. I'm tired of being ruined.
Stress-free, maybe even save for later, then, would be simply the stacking shelves.
I don't even want to do the couch yet. This laptop works now, but it gets too slow. I'm only slightly wary about using a screen where I don't look so much at both the screen and my typing so much. Too bad this is so slow, but that's money for you.
I don't know why I keep sleeping at night. That leaves me on here with time to kill. I don't have TV yet. I'm hungry, haven't eaten at home. I have things I could do. I'm tired. I could read, but what I'm reading is a bit harder than that, otherwise what it would be. I can go check every so often to see if I can use the living room for food, which is easy enough to do.
The good thing about my hair dye is it kind of is gone now. I don't think I care because it doesn't matter to me what color my hair looks like.
I want to be a cook. I know I won't lose a finger. I have enough experience. I have experience in fine dining, not to say real fine dining but not McD's. I am used to working with spices and things like that. I bake my buns each time, and they're wheat buns. I know about saving time and flipping it so the spice doesn't fall off. I know when not to put spice on one side. I know how to do oil. I have some experience baking creatively a little. I like vegetarian food but for things like tomatos. I believe in eating a lot, when you want.
I plan to go out tonight with my brother. With my dad first I'll ask to get the folding art desk. I have to think of a way. I think I can easily store my art things. It can go in my closet. I just need not really but would be nice a table where I could lay out things. Like I said, I could keep this one. The thing must be the table where a computer would fit under. A mini art table would be ideal. I really don't think I'd paint yet with an easel. (Hey, I might even get the house again today. I'm done with IMDb for now. It loaded rather slowly, but at least it loads.)
I'm excited, may dye my hair tonight. I don't feel like sleeping as much. I hope I end up eating soon. I wanted to do another painting but am too tired to do it.
Wow, I have even large canvases. I just need another desk not too large where I can use it to store the printer, also. It should all work out really. I'm not sure where we'll go, but I can check out online. On second thought, maybe I will do another painting now. I just don't know about the final set-up and need a plan. Hmm, this even all works out. I may just have to go out for fun tonight and think about rearranging. I do need to relax more maybe before dying my hair, though as soon as possible for this all. Maybe, first I want to set up the computer desk I guess. I'm not entirely sure about the printer. I go out to get something to eat really. Tonight I should get Subway. I see I need a new sound system, as well. So, this is about setting up that computer stand today. It looks rather complicated, and I hope my dad gets the tools. One thing I know is I don't want the printer on the floor under a desk again. It doesn't even fit on one of the shelves. I kinda think it will go on my drawers, actually. Okay, so it's all set now, just waiting for the tools and the time in the house alone. I indeed will get to it, though, even though I desperately want to finish the TV series' and also a week to cancel old credit card subscriptions from old e-mails. I'm not sure if I might get to that now even. Otherwise, nothing really I can do at the moment. The stacking shelves can wait. I hardly have any clothes. I have shelves on the side of the closet, as well. It is tedious to open the closet. The other thing I found is I need to move the shelves, just realized this, by the closet.
I really don't feel well ever, neither. Something happens, and then nothing's the same. It's not even my fault. Now what? People think they can get away with anything with me. I mean, I'm not even doing anything and I just feel terrible. It's not fair. Sure, no one cares and no one notices. People know what like I don't like and what's not right, and now they don't care. They make up stupid jokes and things, too. Nothing's going okay. I did just wake up and then come back in here. It's strange. What do these people do all day? Thanks, for wasting my life. At least I'm still getting things done. What right does someone have to always act badly just because something upset the other person? There is none. Why are people not letting go of things? This doesn't make any sense. I don't feel like being in bed, but I think I will go back to bed. I haven't showered, neither. I'm tired of being ruined.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Back
So, I got a desk @ $20 @ Wal-Mart.
I'm gonna dye my hair with this great new stuff-
My dad is encouraging on the new computer screen being big and Blu-Ray. This new desk is great because it's so small. It's partly mainly black. It's pretty sturdy and will do for now at least. I'm a bit depressed and just realized I can move it in straight away. I don't know what to do with my printer really. I guess it goes underneath or something. That, or really I can leave it on the stand. It won't be ideal for me now.
My hair is so funny. My skin looks milk white and cream and it looks so stimulated. Someone saw me through the car and I said to my dad Wal-Mart I guess I'll get hair dye. I got matching socks since I have matching shoes that match the shoes for the new outfit, while the one with green doesn't have anything that matches. I almost got a Twilight T with that dude on the front, but I never saw it. The ideal thing about my new hair color is well you'll see. Clearly, I didn't want a reddish dark shade.
I'm gonna dye my hair with this great new stuff-
My dad is encouraging on the new computer screen being big and Blu-Ray. This new desk is great because it's so small. It's partly mainly black. It's pretty sturdy and will do for now at least. I'm a bit depressed and just realized I can move it in straight away. I don't know what to do with my printer really. I guess it goes underneath or something. That, or really I can leave it on the stand. It won't be ideal for me now.
My hair is so funny. My skin looks milk white and cream and it looks so stimulated. Someone saw me through the car and I said to my dad Wal-Mart I guess I'll get hair dye. I got matching socks since I have matching shoes that match the shoes for the new outfit, while the one with green doesn't have anything that matches. I almost got a Twilight T with that dude on the front, but I never saw it. The ideal thing about my new hair color is well you'll see. Clearly, I didn't want a reddish dark shade.
Stomach Still Hurts
I'm a bit paranoid if anyone read my blogs. They're out there for if anyone cares to know. I don't think it's funny, and it's not funny. All I feel is my stomach if I think of it. Why? Maybe it hurts. It's like losing part of your body.
Confirmation Post
So, now I plan to ask my dad to go out each night. That's kinda bad. Whatever's easiest for all of us. I could sleep in. It depends on how I feel. What it is is I wanna go out and look for a computer desk first. I'll set it up I guess. I think next will come a couch. Also, a computer chair. I'm afraid it's going to be hard to get a good computer desk because the office store isn't an office furniture store. There is plenty online I could seek out, but I prefer to find it sooner. It's true you see things in stores you don't think you've seen online or something maybe of course the other way around. The stacking drawers is a step with clothes, though. I still have to hem the bras to be smaller. My waist is already pretty large but not obese. Maybe some health issue but it's not overeating. It's more complex. That's really all. Oh, yea, and online has lots of breakfast bars. I guess it's more important to leave my bed where it is and maybe to turn my desk or the computer sorta to tilt if possible because the couch won't be on the other side. I can easily see using this table and putting the computer on the floor, though, as well. I would need a different desk because this one has a shelf on the wrong side, though I wasn't sure why I set it up here. I could easily want to move it, but I need a whole wall for a couch with 3 seats. So, the issue is really time. I don't know what's intersting but that you find in life that there is only one wall for the bed. The other problem is I can't have my bookshelf totally against the window, so that means it'll be partly against it, possibly not. I still have some hope. Then again maybe not. That's fine, though, for now. I forgot to mention in my last post I forgot I was tired and did all my laundry, in the dryer, and for the first time didn't tell didn't make my bed and left the light on. The door was wide open. I asked her. So, yea, I was really irritated, not that interesting. Like, who'd care? So what if she did? Well, stuff like that bothers me. Like, I heard the door open and didn't ralize it was my parents taking out the dog.
Hurt
It's taking awhile for the computer to load and post my last post. There. Now it's taking awhile again.
Anyway, (okay now it's working..) (well sorta) and something freaked me out! Now you can't see how many blogs I posted from my blog? I definitely need a computer.
Anyway, oh maybe because I dunno I thought you could see.
Anyway, this is so depressing.
Anyway, yea this page isn't loading.
Something embarrassing? I was feeling (wait why is nothing loading) (nevermind?) (oh it didn't save) (do I need to ask for a new computer today?) Anyway, when my stomach reminds me of Santa Clause is a bad sign. It's been a regular pot belly. However, I'm preoccupied with that part of my body and it's like a hole formed around the center from stress. I'm stressed a page isn't loading. I'm stressed my profile won't resave for like 1/2 hour. It doesn't matter for some reason. Anyway, I'm in a T-shirt. I can't stop thinking about it, and it's driving me insane. I have a life, and I don't like any distractions. Happy to say otherwise not too hurt though as of now. No one is nice to me though. No one cares, neither. Why would I tell anyone? It's like it had to bloat to heal and might look smaller later. I do need to use the restroom, as well, but that's not always a big deal when you're at home.
I just need to make the decision today. Oh, and no I didn't hurt myself. I don't know. I don't feel well. How can I ask for something? My computer clearly doesn't work. Hey double click did it.
It's just that once I ask for something important I can't like expect too much otherwise. This injury makes me feel a bit sensitive, though, like I have a fan on me of course, though that's good..
I'm really really mad, too, because it's not like it's something that's my fault or anything. I feel like I'm turning into ice cream from the fan.
Also, this page is not really loading. Try that again I guess I will. It's still taking a long time. I'm so mad. I'm just not feeling well to leave home. Why? Who knows? It's not particularly my fault.
First of all, I need a computer desk and we didn't see much. I'm tired. I also need a computer chair, a new one. Then again, maybe not, but I think I'd like one. I intended to get a couch at the same time. We supposedly are returning this laptop, too. Other things just include stacking shelves and a breakfast bar. Maybe, it's either a breakfast bar or a TV.
I wonder why IMDb's not loading now. Just, I think my profile when I double clicked to save. I haven't checked everything yet. Also, I don't see a bruise, but my stomach doesn't feel smooth. Why? I really feel an actual hole, like a dead snowman. It seems the internet slows down around 2 PM. I can't watch TV, neither.
Now it feels sorta like a cup. It's not even an admitted accident. Wow, I never really hurt anyone that I know of. I might need to wait just because of my health still. When will this be through? I'm so bored. This seriously isn't loading.
Now I feel my stomach getting smaller from the bottom, not sure why. Wow, Blogspot's not working. It's just a matter of consequence, though.
Well, I'll go ahead and post this. I had to restart and now my profile loaded. The internet wasn't working. Maybe now it will. I just wonder what I should post. I told my brother and dad all the things that happened while I was shopping. I have other things to post but not much. Just that when I yell my mom always barges in but this time the doorknob hit my smooth stomach. Funny it is because she left on this yoga TV thing she was recording. I just found we can record DVDs with this machine today. It was kinda crazy. I just said I didn't like her tone, the way she said the dog. Then, today, the dog was out, unusual I think, left by my father, which I thought was nice. They let the dog out when I'm upset I guess, maybe so he's not trapped. So, she said hi to him after I turned off my TV show and sounded like she was saying hi to me. So, I kept talking and got more mad yesterday but didn't hit the wall nor slam the door at first. At least. So, I guess that's it. I still am preoccupied with my stomach, though. I can't say things were ever fine, though. This has never happened. When she wouldn't get out at the old apartment, I kept shouting for her to leave and almost hit her eye with my clothes rack but the only time I hit her being around then when I was trying to watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my brother because of the way she did dishes. That was with a pillow. I through them at her. Then, later, I locked myself in my room. Of course it wasn't even hit hard, at all, but I'm stil preoccupied because I think stuff like that has an effect. It was pretty sensitive and feels crying and asinine a bit, like empty. So, it really was hurt, not that it wasn't anyway. By the way, I made this post once. Since posting so much, I got a black spot on my belly button on the inside. When I started posting regularly early 2008 somewhere else late 2007 my teeth got black because I said I was too sick to see the dentist and then my mouthwash when we moved I didn't find, though my brother had his. I was feeling bad to be seen by my fam then. This is all rather private, though, and still insignificant. It just isn't fair. I feel bad to begin with. It's to be expected, but what am I to do about finding a computer desk first? Maybe, my dad and I should make that our first goal. I can plan to get the biggest screen or I can think about liking this one's size. The nice thing is I can see my fingers more looking down at it. I think that shouldn't be an issue, but it was with a regular sized laptop. I don't think I can get a small screen like this. It doesn't make sense.
So, about a computer, I think a big Blu-Ray is good because the price is something I can handle in the difference more than using a smaller size. I think it's the computer that costs more. It's just a simple $1000, and I guess a couch is only $600 for 3 seats. Some are more, much more though. It's not like the prices strattled. They're all $500-$800. The reason I want one is because it's cheaper. My dad recommended not, but my ultimate goal would be probably to get a choice Blu-Ray TV screen. The guy advertising the Apple said it was good for like his sister who did things, compiling. I've seen all this, but no I don't make my own kinds of movies. I'm doing acrylics and probably need different shades of primary colors since I can't get different canvases. I truly do not do computer graphics. Funny my dad just asked me this, though, when I said if I do college for fun I wanna do computers (tech) because then I can do anything. It's the problem in everything. If only I knew all about it, I would have no problems.
So, maybe it was supposed to be funny I was hit but not that hardly. I do look thinner now I mentioned what's bothered me, also that I kept screaming because I thought crazy things. No one cares if I'm bothered if they try to talk by the noises they make forming words, and they think they're fast. I think that's freaky, though. I don't make weird allusions to things. By accident I found that ever since moving in with my family in Orlando or maybe since a certain time on vacation that any noise I made was a lot of words, sentences, or meanings, things I didn't say and didn't mean to have come to my mind. I think it's because I was feeling maybe not strong enough to work to think of something rather than let what wants to come to me come to me. So, why do I hurt more now than before? Can you imagine like hitting a thick plant leaf?
Anyway, (okay now it's working..) (well sorta) and something freaked me out! Now you can't see how many blogs I posted from my blog? I definitely need a computer.
Anyway, oh maybe because I dunno I thought you could see.
Anyway, this is so depressing.
Anyway, yea this page isn't loading.
Something embarrassing? I was feeling (wait why is nothing loading) (nevermind?) (oh it didn't save) (do I need to ask for a new computer today?) Anyway, when my stomach reminds me of Santa Clause is a bad sign. It's been a regular pot belly. However, I'm preoccupied with that part of my body and it's like a hole formed around the center from stress. I'm stressed a page isn't loading. I'm stressed my profile won't resave for like 1/2 hour. It doesn't matter for some reason. Anyway, I'm in a T-shirt. I can't stop thinking about it, and it's driving me insane. I have a life, and I don't like any distractions. Happy to say otherwise not too hurt though as of now. No one is nice to me though. No one cares, neither. Why would I tell anyone? It's like it had to bloat to heal and might look smaller later. I do need to use the restroom, as well, but that's not always a big deal when you're at home.
I just need to make the decision today. Oh, and no I didn't hurt myself. I don't know. I don't feel well. How can I ask for something? My computer clearly doesn't work. Hey double click did it.
It's just that once I ask for something important I can't like expect too much otherwise. This injury makes me feel a bit sensitive, though, like I have a fan on me of course, though that's good..
I'm really really mad, too, because it's not like it's something that's my fault or anything. I feel like I'm turning into ice cream from the fan.
Also, this page is not really loading. Try that again I guess I will. It's still taking a long time. I'm so mad. I'm just not feeling well to leave home. Why? Who knows? It's not particularly my fault.
First of all, I need a computer desk and we didn't see much. I'm tired. I also need a computer chair, a new one. Then again, maybe not, but I think I'd like one. I intended to get a couch at the same time. We supposedly are returning this laptop, too. Other things just include stacking shelves and a breakfast bar. Maybe, it's either a breakfast bar or a TV.
I wonder why IMDb's not loading now. Just, I think my profile when I double clicked to save. I haven't checked everything yet. Also, I don't see a bruise, but my stomach doesn't feel smooth. Why? I really feel an actual hole, like a dead snowman. It seems the internet slows down around 2 PM. I can't watch TV, neither.
Now it feels sorta like a cup. It's not even an admitted accident. Wow, I never really hurt anyone that I know of. I might need to wait just because of my health still. When will this be through? I'm so bored. This seriously isn't loading.
Now I feel my stomach getting smaller from the bottom, not sure why. Wow, Blogspot's not working. It's just a matter of consequence, though.
Well, I'll go ahead and post this. I had to restart and now my profile loaded. The internet wasn't working. Maybe now it will. I just wonder what I should post. I told my brother and dad all the things that happened while I was shopping. I have other things to post but not much. Just that when I yell my mom always barges in but this time the doorknob hit my smooth stomach. Funny it is because she left on this yoga TV thing she was recording. I just found we can record DVDs with this machine today. It was kinda crazy. I just said I didn't like her tone, the way she said the dog. Then, today, the dog was out, unusual I think, left by my father, which I thought was nice. They let the dog out when I'm upset I guess, maybe so he's not trapped. So, she said hi to him after I turned off my TV show and sounded like she was saying hi to me. So, I kept talking and got more mad yesterday but didn't hit the wall nor slam the door at first. At least. So, I guess that's it. I still am preoccupied with my stomach, though. I can't say things were ever fine, though. This has never happened. When she wouldn't get out at the old apartment, I kept shouting for her to leave and almost hit her eye with my clothes rack but the only time I hit her being around then when I was trying to watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my brother because of the way she did dishes. That was with a pillow. I through them at her. Then, later, I locked myself in my room. Of course it wasn't even hit hard, at all, but I'm stil preoccupied because I think stuff like that has an effect. It was pretty sensitive and feels crying and asinine a bit, like empty. So, it really was hurt, not that it wasn't anyway. By the way, I made this post once. Since posting so much, I got a black spot on my belly button on the inside. When I started posting regularly early 2008 somewhere else late 2007 my teeth got black because I said I was too sick to see the dentist and then my mouthwash when we moved I didn't find, though my brother had his. I was feeling bad to be seen by my fam then. This is all rather private, though, and still insignificant. It just isn't fair. I feel bad to begin with. It's to be expected, but what am I to do about finding a computer desk first? Maybe, my dad and I should make that our first goal. I can plan to get the biggest screen or I can think about liking this one's size. The nice thing is I can see my fingers more looking down at it. I think that shouldn't be an issue, but it was with a regular sized laptop. I don't think I can get a small screen like this. It doesn't make sense.
So, about a computer, I think a big Blu-Ray is good because the price is something I can handle in the difference more than using a smaller size. I think it's the computer that costs more. It's just a simple $1000, and I guess a couch is only $600 for 3 seats. Some are more, much more though. It's not like the prices strattled. They're all $500-$800. The reason I want one is because it's cheaper. My dad recommended not, but my ultimate goal would be probably to get a choice Blu-Ray TV screen. The guy advertising the Apple said it was good for like his sister who did things, compiling. I've seen all this, but no I don't make my own kinds of movies. I'm doing acrylics and probably need different shades of primary colors since I can't get different canvases. I truly do not do computer graphics. Funny my dad just asked me this, though, when I said if I do college for fun I wanna do computers (tech) because then I can do anything. It's the problem in everything. If only I knew all about it, I would have no problems.
So, maybe it was supposed to be funny I was hit but not that hardly. I do look thinner now I mentioned what's bothered me, also that I kept screaming because I thought crazy things. No one cares if I'm bothered if they try to talk by the noises they make forming words, and they think they're fast. I think that's freaky, though. I don't make weird allusions to things. By accident I found that ever since moving in with my family in Orlando or maybe since a certain time on vacation that any noise I made was a lot of words, sentences, or meanings, things I didn't say and didn't mean to have come to my mind. I think it's because I was feeling maybe not strong enough to work to think of something rather than let what wants to come to me come to me. So, why do I hurt more now than before? Can you imagine like hitting a thick plant leaf?
Last Name First
Something that bothers me personally must be my last name. Does it not make sense that my dad's mom's maiden name starts with "Bar" and that Barber sounds like "Barbaric" as opposed to simply a last name, a first name, or even a Barber personality? I do have Mortimer in my family name, Barber-Work to Work-Mortimer. I'm as happy as a cat and as fit as a fiddle.
On a side note, I think I should plan to get a real computer and use it like this. This small one certainly is as I should have suspected more sturdy.
Why are people always uncomfortable with me then? It's something I can't help for some reason. It's the same issue I've been on. Also, the reason I never posted much about my mom's family...
My computer is so slow.
...names is because I don't want to give the wrong impression. First, they do have new names from moving to a different country. Next, I don't know how long it was. Most importantly, the last names from the real ethnicity seems to have changed between each family member, like the offspring share nothing, though I saw repeats and what looked like intermarriage between families.
My last post is taking so long to load, too. Oh well, no one will care, though, but since I'm not functioning I like to give my status away.
The reason this is (okay it loaded) (ah taking a long time again) bad of course is that I didn't check IMDb as much because I'm just blogging and the internet gets so slow. (Yea it's done.)
I dunno I can just say it makes me feel different. Like, if I meet a baker, I don't get upset because I'm the candlestickmaker. Like, if it's another Barber in my family is okay, too.
Like, is it a joke or something because of my problems? I'm just waiting for a new computer. The things I don't like about my name are pretty spot on. I don't care that it's a first name because it's more a last name. Two t's isn't particularly to my taking. Two r's is alright in a way. I never really talk about my last name. I became surprised aren't there famous black poets? They talk about it in school if they don't know my last name. I think it's the most popular one because it sounds like a bear and Baird and so forth is named from it. My dad worked at Barnett Bank the whole time we lived in Florida. It shut down and we had to move. Actually, it has merged twice since.
Also, what's so bad about being a general mix with the French? I am just guessing, but it's always been in me to notice someone part English and part Italian. I'm not sure what bothers me, but if it's from someone who's 90 I don't care. I never knew anything about my piano teacher's husband, but I know more about strangers it seems. That indicates that she talked about him, though. I think I'm too young for this. The reason Italians like people who are not only French is because sometimes the French are too snooty. Is it true that people don't care about the Dutch because they don't live in Norway? I just realized this. Then there's mostly German, which is mixed with this. Then there's the Irish stuff. So, in essence, I don't really have problems and nothing of which to be jealous. It does fit my personal preference, though. So, I do take pride in it.
If you're wondering, it's been awhile since I showered. I haven't been out since that one night. My dad agrees, but it seems I didn't make the perfect deal. It seems I should want a separate Blu-Ray, but we don't even have a Blu-Ray. This is ridiculous. I just am not getting a huge television. I don't see why an Apple would be better than a Blu-Ray except that Apple is made for computers. I expect to keep it for awhile. I assume if I get an Apple I need to keep it longer because I'd get a Blu-Ray television separately. The other issue was space. I really don't know. I got upset because of money. I only can ask for things I need. What I need is something so I don't go crazy in my room for however long. I do wanna work and all. No problems there really. I'll easily make the money back or have to use something I really can use that doesn't break I guess. I'm just thinking out loud because I come to conclusions then. I don't like it, but it's only for things that are problems, not solving things, just problems like this, like stuff that's to do with everyday life in a way.
Argh, the computer is so slow.
On a side note, I think I should plan to get a real computer and use it like this. This small one certainly is as I should have suspected more sturdy.
Why are people always uncomfortable with me then? It's something I can't help for some reason. It's the same issue I've been on. Also, the reason I never posted much about my mom's family...
My computer is so slow.
...names is because I don't want to give the wrong impression. First, they do have new names from moving to a different country. Next, I don't know how long it was. Most importantly, the last names from the real ethnicity seems to have changed between each family member, like the offspring share nothing, though I saw repeats and what looked like intermarriage between families.
My last post is taking so long to load, too. Oh well, no one will care, though, but since I'm not functioning I like to give my status away.
The reason this is (okay it loaded) (ah taking a long time again) bad of course is that I didn't check IMDb as much because I'm just blogging and the internet gets so slow. (Yea it's done.)
I dunno I can just say it makes me feel different. Like, if I meet a baker, I don't get upset because I'm the candlestickmaker. Like, if it's another Barber in my family is okay, too.
Like, is it a joke or something because of my problems? I'm just waiting for a new computer. The things I don't like about my name are pretty spot on. I don't care that it's a first name because it's more a last name. Two t's isn't particularly to my taking. Two r's is alright in a way. I never really talk about my last name. I became surprised aren't there famous black poets? They talk about it in school if they don't know my last name. I think it's the most popular one because it sounds like a bear and Baird and so forth is named from it. My dad worked at Barnett Bank the whole time we lived in Florida. It shut down and we had to move. Actually, it has merged twice since.
Also, what's so bad about being a general mix with the French? I am just guessing, but it's always been in me to notice someone part English and part Italian. I'm not sure what bothers me, but if it's from someone who's 90 I don't care. I never knew anything about my piano teacher's husband, but I know more about strangers it seems. That indicates that she talked about him, though. I think I'm too young for this. The reason Italians like people who are not only French is because sometimes the French are too snooty. Is it true that people don't care about the Dutch because they don't live in Norway? I just realized this. Then there's mostly German, which is mixed with this. Then there's the Irish stuff. So, in essence, I don't really have problems and nothing of which to be jealous. It does fit my personal preference, though. So, I do take pride in it.
If you're wondering, it's been awhile since I showered. I haven't been out since that one night. My dad agrees, but it seems I didn't make the perfect deal. It seems I should want a separate Blu-Ray, but we don't even have a Blu-Ray. This is ridiculous. I just am not getting a huge television. I don't see why an Apple would be better than a Blu-Ray except that Apple is made for computers. I expect to keep it for awhile. I assume if I get an Apple I need to keep it longer because I'd get a Blu-Ray television separately. The other issue was space. I really don't know. I got upset because of money. I only can ask for things I need. What I need is something so I don't go crazy in my room for however long. I do wanna work and all. No problems there really. I'll easily make the money back or have to use something I really can use that doesn't break I guess. I'm just thinking out loud because I come to conclusions then. I don't like it, but it's only for things that are problems, not solving things, just problems like this, like stuff that's to do with everyday life in a way.
Argh, the computer is so slow.
A Few More Minutes Left
I guess I was feeling too sick, but at least I got more blueprints out lol. I was really very tired, too. This is almost a miracle. I've been planning this since I was 16. Now, I'll have a 3-seat couch.
Also, my laptop is working alright. It's a little slower than it could be sometimes and maybe could freeze up online. I have a week to consider this, though.
Bah!
Also, my laptop is working alright. It's a little slower than it could be sometimes and maybe could freeze up online. I have a week to consider this, though.
Bah!
Ho Hum Diddly Dum
So, it's official. I'm getting a 3-seat sofa. I'm taking out this entire table and the stand by it with the printer and replacing it with a sturdy computer desk. I'm saving all my long posts off Desktop in its reg folder as Notepad numbers. It's simple. I'm not collecting needless/illegal photos.
Well, now I have the house and will go and watch "Laverne & Shirley." Maybe even I'll finish it now.
:)
Well, now I have the house and will go and watch "Laverne & Shirley." Maybe even I'll finish it now.
:)
Sorry my laptop wasn't working ...
I'll work on another blogpost meanwhile after "checking IMDb."
Actually, the internet here wasn't working, though it never happened that way.
Actually, the internet here wasn't working, though it never happened that way.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Hey, Again
I don't know why it says 4 posts when I only had 2 published. The saved ones might still be there, but who cares? It's on my Dashboard or Profile.
I'm just so hungry and eager, not feeling well, hard to write. Well, I'll go make that blog on my room now I guess.
I'm just so hungry and eager, not feeling well, hard to write. Well, I'll go make that blog on my room now I guess.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Today
Tonight my brother drove me. I got Subway and a strawberry smoothie. We took a walk.
I can ask him to see a film for fun after his daily work-out. I know he needs the walks, too. He seems eager, as well.
Now, I'm making a second blog while I figure out how to arrange my room.
-My only other technical problem is I can't install my printer.
-Also, my original blog was deleted and I deleted my ramblings on my room since it didn't work out. It won't happen again. :)
[I can drive, just still sick from staying in my room for almost 2 years only leaving a # of days I can count, like 4 outfits, 5 or 6 maybe..]
I can ask him to see a film for fun after his daily work-out. I know he needs the walks, too. He seems eager, as well.
Now, I'm making a second blog while I figure out how to arrange my room.
-My only other technical problem is I can't install my printer.
-Also, my original blog was deleted and I deleted my ramblings on my room since it didn't work out. It won't happen again. :)
[I can drive, just still sick from staying in my room for almost 2 years only leaving a # of days I can count, like 4 outfits, 5 or 6 maybe..]
New Laptop
I was so frustrated before, so I got the small laptops that are 1/2 price the regular size. The sales rep ad that we get the apple. I'm gonna get the biggest screen. My dad suggested a Blu-Ray because I intended to get a Blu-Ray. Instead, I kept my small TV. I was going to put a couch in here, only the price of a laptop.
So, my plan now is to have my dad/mom drive me around and find a job. All I want to do is work. The bottom line is I'm not going to school. It's because I want money, as insulting as it sounds. I want money more than education. I'm an independent artist and have done all the arts all my life. My plan is to move to southeast Greece. The other idea was to be a marine in Turkey. I wanted to be a mortitian, jail guard, or train to be in the police force. That is presumably to wet my hands to fight in the Middle East. Who knows where I'll go from there. If I had to move to an English-speaking nation, I'd move to Ireland or Scotland. England seems sorta like the US, though, so I dunno.
So, today I went to see a movie finally. I chose Up. It lets me know I need to go around in a shirt that says "Tim Burton." By the way, since all I do is post about his new film Alice in Wonderland I am going to order pure white non-blonde hair dye and glitter as a goth. My roots are already growing back from the mess up with the reds. It's funny because ...
Yes, I can access my old IMDb, but I'm too tired to do it now. I think I can access all my old accounts even.
... you can still see a lot of natural hair other than streamed from the roots, + it blends in.
On another account, Photobucket isn't working now. I can't upgrade to Pro. That's the big site, too. I can't just use Flickr. Not exactly ad-free. :( Yea I do have a webcam but that's later.
Bad news, over. I'm not really on MySpace and YouTube, yet. I ended up getting a new Facebook account and probably will stick with it. I guess I won't be going on old forums and stuff, though.
I don't wanna eat I guess because I wanna wait and have my dad take me to the mall again. There's no Smoothie King, but I got this spinach chicken Caesar wrap and the strawberry smoothie. We ended up not only looking at furniture but taking a walk and getting ice cream. The yogurt swirl machine was broken, so I got chocolate, which I saw Swiss chocolate, small in a cup. 'Twas great. I'm not into meat too much because I'm always drinking ice water or my vat of water.
So, I wanted to work in the back with the black guys @ Sears, but the new thing that popped into my head was my dad can take me to work until I get a car. I hope it's near home.
In a way I don't really feel well, but I might have to ask to go out anyway. I just have to un-recluse myself. I wanna see Up again. We didn't get any snacks. Someone was working out today. My dad asked if I heard him before, but this person seemed to trim one bush. It was right by my room. I hope he wasn't upset at the end of it all I asked if he was driving funny because he just doesn't respond to me. I wasn't mean or anything, was kinda making fun of him. My side of the girl I mean car was going in swirls under me. He keeps coming up with stupid things to say. They think they're smart. He drove funny and sometimes zagged my side just at the end when I said I post @ Race. I know they know that, but I told them earlier I just post @ Netiquette today. How stupid are they? There's more, but it's not important. I didn't tell them anything recent, neither. I never complain about the stuff that annoys me except stating that no one's online. Oh well, I'll just not worry and ask to do the same things again, today. I'm not getting a couch yet, though. I need to move the DVD player back in. The one drawback is I have to draw my own maps because I can't install my printer, of which the scanner's not working. I should take that out, but I might need it later. It's like a fake object waiting for its Heaven. ?:, I peeked out, though, and the bedroom door's closed. I'll assume maybe it's neighbors, but I'll ask my dad @ it, though it's just too much work. I can tell by the way he acts. The neighbors, though, aren't bad. I wonder if they even knew we were out since we're not usually all. Most of what I talked @ was race, though. I just went out with my dad and then my brother joined when we saw the movies. I haven't had my breakfast, yet. So, no I can't play computer games.
That dude said to get the Apple, and my dad said the Blu-Ray. Then, he thought @ the reg price. Overall, it was a great experience, but I need to take a shower. We probably will go to chuch if we're not @ a movie tonight and if I'm done and ready. I kinda wanna sleep, though. I could ask my dad to take me to the mall to eat, though, and sit in a movie or come and pick me up or something. My brother drives himself, now, so nothing's on the way now.
Overall, I feel much better. I think I should go out again. I did ask, and they were up to it.
So, I was talking about the English accent at the end when we were eating ice cream. I was saying like you hear someone with a sorta flat sound and know they're English/Irish. I pointed out a silly Welsh guy in the theater says Welsh is another language. It seems that some English might get flat accents, but some are able to retain them after exposure to an American. I'm safe as far as the spoken language goes. My brother said didn't you say Mum has a British accent? I said or he said he doesn't know how. I said why not. I said I can write in an English way and that English people talk a lot. I was saying how American accent is good. It's good because for instance my German side is German-Irish and so is the French and Dutch. Supposedly I'm more German than anything but overall more English/Anglo with some Irish, Donahue being all I know, Barrett-Donahue on my dad's dad's side. It sounds like an American name.
So, this is pretty safe. I have a good laptop just for messages. It probably isn't travellable. I can upload digital photos, as well. I have my reading, too. Well, over and out. Looking forward still to Toy Story 23. I mrn 3.
So, my plan now is to have my dad/mom drive me around and find a job. All I want to do is work. The bottom line is I'm not going to school. It's because I want money, as insulting as it sounds. I want money more than education. I'm an independent artist and have done all the arts all my life. My plan is to move to southeast Greece. The other idea was to be a marine in Turkey. I wanted to be a mortitian, jail guard, or train to be in the police force. That is presumably to wet my hands to fight in the Middle East. Who knows where I'll go from there. If I had to move to an English-speaking nation, I'd move to Ireland or Scotland. England seems sorta like the US, though, so I dunno.
So, today I went to see a movie finally. I chose Up. It lets me know I need to go around in a shirt that says "Tim Burton." By the way, since all I do is post about his new film Alice in Wonderland I am going to order pure white non-blonde hair dye and glitter as a goth. My roots are already growing back from the mess up with the reds. It's funny because ...
Yes, I can access my old IMDb, but I'm too tired to do it now. I think I can access all my old accounts even.
... you can still see a lot of natural hair other than streamed from the roots, + it blends in.
On another account, Photobucket isn't working now. I can't upgrade to Pro. That's the big site, too. I can't just use Flickr. Not exactly ad-free. :( Yea I do have a webcam but that's later.
Bad news, over. I'm not really on MySpace and YouTube, yet. I ended up getting a new Facebook account and probably will stick with it. I guess I won't be going on old forums and stuff, though.
I don't wanna eat I guess because I wanna wait and have my dad take me to the mall again. There's no Smoothie King, but I got this spinach chicken Caesar wrap and the strawberry smoothie. We ended up not only looking at furniture but taking a walk and getting ice cream. The yogurt swirl machine was broken, so I got chocolate, which I saw Swiss chocolate, small in a cup. 'Twas great. I'm not into meat too much because I'm always drinking ice water or my vat of water.
So, I wanted to work in the back with the black guys @ Sears, but the new thing that popped into my head was my dad can take me to work until I get a car. I hope it's near home.
In a way I don't really feel well, but I might have to ask to go out anyway. I just have to un-recluse myself. I wanna see Up again. We didn't get any snacks. Someone was working out today. My dad asked if I heard him before, but this person seemed to trim one bush. It was right by my room. I hope he wasn't upset at the end of it all I asked if he was driving funny because he just doesn't respond to me. I wasn't mean or anything, was kinda making fun of him. My side of the girl I mean car was going in swirls under me. He keeps coming up with stupid things to say. They think they're smart. He drove funny and sometimes zagged my side just at the end when I said I post @ Race. I know they know that, but I told them earlier I just post @ Netiquette today. How stupid are they? There's more, but it's not important. I didn't tell them anything recent, neither. I never complain about the stuff that annoys me except stating that no one's online. Oh well, I'll just not worry and ask to do the same things again, today. I'm not getting a couch yet, though. I need to move the DVD player back in. The one drawback is I have to draw my own maps because I can't install my printer, of which the scanner's not working. I should take that out, but I might need it later. It's like a fake object waiting for its Heaven. ?:, I peeked out, though, and the bedroom door's closed. I'll assume maybe it's neighbors, but I'll ask my dad @ it, though it's just too much work. I can tell by the way he acts. The neighbors, though, aren't bad. I wonder if they even knew we were out since we're not usually all. Most of what I talked @ was race, though. I just went out with my dad and then my brother joined when we saw the movies. I haven't had my breakfast, yet. So, no I can't play computer games.
That dude said to get the Apple, and my dad said the Blu-Ray. Then, he thought @ the reg price. Overall, it was a great experience, but I need to take a shower. We probably will go to chuch if we're not @ a movie tonight and if I'm done and ready. I kinda wanna sleep, though. I could ask my dad to take me to the mall to eat, though, and sit in a movie or come and pick me up or something. My brother drives himself, now, so nothing's on the way now.
Overall, I feel much better. I think I should go out again. I did ask, and they were up to it.
So, I was talking about the English accent at the end when we were eating ice cream. I was saying like you hear someone with a sorta flat sound and know they're English/Irish. I pointed out a silly Welsh guy in the theater says Welsh is another language. It seems that some English might get flat accents, but some are able to retain them after exposure to an American. I'm safe as far as the spoken language goes. My brother said didn't you say Mum has a British accent? I said or he said he doesn't know how. I said why not. I said I can write in an English way and that English people talk a lot. I was saying how American accent is good. It's good because for instance my German side is German-Irish and so is the French and Dutch. Supposedly I'm more German than anything but overall more English/Anglo with some Irish, Donahue being all I know, Barrett-Donahue on my dad's dad's side. It sounds like an American name.
So, this is pretty safe. I have a good laptop just for messages. It probably isn't travellable. I can upload digital photos, as well. I have my reading, too. Well, over and out. Looking forward still to Toy Story 23. I mrn 3.
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