Internet

So, my internet

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Ya not feeling well. So many things go through my mind. So, remember I said I thought I looked partly like an Albino from "some colored place" or now I'll say I am so hypersensitive about looking Asian the way a part indian would look not white or not European, though I thought the mystery of not being Chinese or being like any European means okay depending on how you look and all. (Hey, ya this laptop is all weird with being slow online and freezing every time I get up to go to the bathroom or take a picture of myself.) I see it's only a contest between not being Chinese and not being "pitch" black ethnically. So, what, like, am I using people? People think my very existence is bad but only based on their own faults. I think that's a problem. I can't post this though without being singled out and labelled "Mongy." No one cares, neither. I realize that it's a quiet site, but I think that was the problem somehow. I know you can't expect too much, anyway. Why do people pretend that like say maybe my father wasn't as white in some way just to annoy me though in regards to the way my mom is or doesn't matter about a racial label. That's the problem. It's not legal to joke about categorizing people for some sort of abstract mental slaughter or something. People want something that makes up for them to look good because of their own faults. I thought Chinese was partly some form of Russian - German - English all in one sorta and still kinda like Irish or anything. No one likes part Chinese people and a lot of them make others look disgusting. It only makes sense in some way that you can't judge a book by its cover so-to-speak in what to expect when you hear about something like that. Why has my life been so predictable? I don't agree with the right to a jealousy for being a racist. Isn't that the whole problem? Now you see it now you don't, the jokes are all too clear! So, last night or well I was taking a walk, but in the afternoon @ 4:48 P.M. @ 504 called me, same first 6 digets as the last caller right after I posted something. That set me off. Somehow. It affects my life insofar as like for instance the Fan Art thread I did. No one cares if I have problems that they don't have. Like, I was the only one insulted so far. Is that some sort of way of "drawing" attention??