... looks like I need ways to feel better

Wow, I closed my eyes and shut off and clicked twice to post my new blog on my profile. It's taking awhile to load, wonder why. Yea only like a minute. Rather quick for checking Alice in Wonderland. Funny I don't check the others, not sure why, now is because of my slow net: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd. I can always go back. Oh no now it's slow. Like, okay, it's not that I'm tired of blogging but that I want a computer that checks faster. I'm turned off about it, though. It seems I should have further addressed the internet issues too. I'm not ready to deal with this. Hey you know why I look a lot better with my hair cut? You just see me and not some bad hair. Ha, joke.

Hey, I was gonna do some screenshots and respond.

I guess I was wondering why my dad asked me more questions after I explained the issue. I didn't want to point out I'm likely to break things at this point, as I'm always called Mongy. That just stunts everything, though not entirely responsible for why my last laptop is no good. He really seems not to want to get a laptop. I think I'll read while I wait. Then, later, I can watch some DVDs. Funny the blog thing loaded right away. Saved right away, well loaded okay at first but not right away even. I wonder at my dad's suggestion to mow the lawn before. That's certainly a good one. That's like $25 or really like $20 if I do the whole thing say in a day. Like, there's the backyard, the sides of the yard, and the front of the house. Then, there could be "weed wacking" and such as he says. Yea I don't feel like reading now anymore. This is just way too bad. I'll sit here and wonder about being called Mongy then. I admit changing my sn was the biggest problem. There was a good thread on race before but not anymore. I was winning, too. I was Luna_Lovegood_86-08, and that was my MySpace, funnily enough. I still posted later. I don't know that the threads were there but that it was quick. My first sn was Miss-Fastidious, and now it's taken. I agree that a Harry Potter sn isn't so encompassing unless I was that kind of fan. In a way I am, but I'm a little ol to have it as an sn. My laptop was really the problem. It used not to work as well, but a few nights of not leaving it on does the trick always. Later it works but gets worse anyway I guess. I don't know what really got me mad. I'm not quite as ignored now as before though usually I am a thread ender. Yea, so I am just having fun. What happened to the idea that the Soapbox is a place where you aren't seen like the Sandbox, which is more open? I guess my ProBoard really is cool.

... So, why are people getting so violent in their fantasies based on an outline of their weaknesses-challenges?

... I should leave a note telling my dad that the reason I don't want a new laptop yet is because even though this one takes longer to load and breaks frequently since I got it that a laptop is for portable use and I want a real computer. First, I'd better wash the cars a few times and do some lemonade stands one week, while always getting all the laundry and dishes "done before dawn" if possible. I do only eat when on one's around. I may fit a breakfast bar in sooner, though.

Okay, why are people saying I have a bad wit? With them I see nothing but blankness and unwillingness to have a little fun. Why are people putting me down for what others do to me? It's not what happened to me. It's what others do to me and not what I do to myself. I mean, I know about needless humor or just having an automatic switch to say you're better.

... I feel that people think you're only good as your own race. I was looking at my bedding and noticed my Bratz doll looked happy. She just is European and can make mistakes and still be really. You just wait and see what happens in the end. Like, do people think that just because I did something that's an attempt to be something that is good that it means that I shouldn't worry about race since I did that anyway? Are there clear benefits, such as more focus on boring things like studying to get ahead just for whatever reason when I think it's for myself and my time and have a different view on life and things like education and racial opportunity as I would put things like this in life? People are getting upset at arguing someone gets anything they want and it is bad for that successful person, me. It's not even obvious. I just wanna be a normal person. That's what life really is. I guess it's mindless banter again, lols. (Okay, this webpage just is barely loading. Wait there it is! That was nice even though it said 53% it loaded to 100% but failed! 7%? 20%. 27%. I moved the mouse and 100%. Waiting. Failed. 20%. 100%. Waiting. Wow. Like. Do I need to change my title not to have a dash with a space before and after for a date since it's not in the post? Waiting. Page not displayed. Haha 07-10-2007 sounds like Osama Bin Laden. Okay 20 I mean 7%. Yea I was gonna do July not 09 I mean 07. Punch punch (box box.) Twist twist. Rotate. Swivel. I wanna get off. This is taking forever. I'm so tired. I may stick with it. I think I'm restarting. Saved to Favorites.)

My nose looking girlish is neat.

Did you ever think of the argument that if you're mixed like why did your parent marry like a real European not instead? You would argue the validity of her race and that the mixed person like isn't in that position. Also, if you're related to someone like a parent what's the idea that you're not partly? Like, my dad's mom isn't more related than his dad or something. Wow, what was I thinking, meant like (oh btw I saw my brother save files to a little thing like you use to plug into any printer without a CD so I can if this doo esn't work.) Okay, so like I mean how do you divide it if just by last name or ethnicity default? Why do sometimes like Asians get accepted and when push comes to shove gets told their yellow if they're really tan and white and pink?

Hey what's so complicated about the Soapbox? Like, why aren't people there real? Like, don't they have lives? OD you have to say about your work, lol?

Do you think people get upst thinking someone has it easier rather than that they do things right and have a normal life?

I am convinced I need a new (hey it just said it was done loading) laptop but really wanna save and work up for a computer. How much lemonade can I sell? I don't think I've made enough to know, though. How do you keep it cold.

Wiw it's loading faster now I've changed the title to just words, much faster, like right away, 1/2 sec 27 - 38 or something though I don't see it's loaded. Yea, it's still on 33. There it is. See if it worked. I know something's wrong. Page didn't even work before. Let's see if there's a red banner now. ... NO! There is. Next time I am using the old uploader to see if it works.

You kniow the reason I am not in school is because (there it is) my laptop was too slow I bet. Wow it's funny if you look at your nose and if you look like a boy and then you look like a girl kinda. Funny the other way about. I'm so tired waiting but know how it's the right thing. I'm feeling sorta more awake but still unhappy. Wow WordPad looks like Notepad if you make it smaller. I guess that cutting my hair was stimulating for me, the way I said boys are stimulated more than girls because theyre boys to make them feel good when girls get more stimulated for no reason, whatsoever. Yea it almost feels like I've had bad food though as far as how I'm stimulated. I needed something I know that would

Do you think peple tell someone else they're feeling self pity because they're busy feeling in private?

I needed something that would ... give me energy like nectarine. My head looks kinda like a monkey, a cute stuffed ape that comes with a flower vase. Like, you know hw their hair is thick and all that.

I'm so upset I can't get a photo to upload. I feel like I wanna be in bed asleep. Why'd's't say 0%. There't's. Well supposedly there it was. Okay I'm posting this. I'm not sure if with myself I see any faults in particular, like too fake looking of a face frame or something. So, yes, my internet is really blocked up though I need to wait. Things do load normally still. I am not happy that it is probably just breaking. I can see that I need to take a trip to get some stuff to lie in a bathtub with, IMHO, instead of being called out on it. Wiw now this page not even loading. I wonder what is that.

So I was thinking about the lesser memory thing of the Apple as I'm not using it for memory. There is nothing wrong with getting maybe a lesser computer. It's just that Apple is supposed to work, and that's what they'll say as far as that issue goes. So how much could I make selling lemonade? I guess not much. So, maybe $0.50 for a large glass? Where will I get said large disposable glasses? Do they need a lid? I could offer a sign to wash cars for $ (hey I'm doing well @ my maze since it's to get a new computer and to get better first and I'm waiting for something to load that usually worse better) I'm tempted to say $1. I could mow a lawn for osmeone else for $2. I can do dishes for fishes and swishes for switches. Ha. HA. I think I just need more sleep, too. I'm a quiet pretty girl *lol. That hair is really rubbing in having it so short. Wo -ell I hope my life gets better soon.. I can feel it is. What's up with this laptop? Yea I feel a lot of changes taking place. I guess the walks are also gu YEAH od btw speaking of mazes yea maybe there's more to explore. I don't plan to go to 7-11 et cetera. Lol I wonder if even there is a library. Wow I feel lots of good changes taking place. ::> Haha. I'm so annoyed. It's like I'm drunk when I'm not.

So I wonder if I could work at the window of the drive-thru pharmacy. That sounds like a more settled job. Okay, I'm gonna post this one now. :D Yeah. Then again maybe not. So, I wonder if the Manchester accent is like the midnorthwest English accent and by Germany it's not really less English. The Scottish don't seem to have an accent, but I dunno what it would be. I feel hungry but too tired. I wish I had a breakfast bar. I should be finishing this tonight. I am feeling strangely again and should lie down. Yea, I said I was gonna post something good here but then totally forgot because I can't always turn on my computer and hold that thought. I'm getting so annoyed with this. When will this be over? I know sometimes I need to stop and think before I post something as well. Why does time never stop, as well? Yea, my dad was gonna get me a computer, but I was too tired. I didn't have a couch and all. Why? Why didn't this get suggested first. Okay ready to post again. Hope I go for a walk soon! :) I hope my other thing loads as I was gonna say here. Ah. It's like I need this to work a little better or feel my money's been eaten. I have to go log out of everything sometime again when I for once find I might be doing nothing and come here and realize what I am doing.